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Band 5

Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but poor alternatives to a natural environment. Discuss some of the arguments for and against keeping animals in zoos as an IELTS topic and give your own opinion.

#zoos #alternatives #environment #arguments #animals #ielts #topic
Nowadays,
zoos
 are commonly chosen as a place to visit with family and relatives and
considered
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are considered
show examples
as
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apply
show examples
necessary.
However
, some believe that
animals
 should be released into the wild rather than kept in captivity. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of
this
 topic. Many people enjoy visiting
zoos
 because they offer the opportunity to see a wide range of wildlife.
Animals
such
 as birds, tigers, and elephants are commonly found in
zoos
. Governments
also
 support
zoos
, hoping that they ensure the safety of wildlife
while
gain
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gaining
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benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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 from the revenue generated by visitors.
However
, it has been noticed that some
zoos
 fail to give
a
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apply
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proper care for the
animals
. In some cases,
zoos
 host shows and attractions where
animals
 are forced into hard training to increase visitor engagement.
Zoos
also
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are also
show examples
 considered educational
place
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places
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, especially for children.
Furthermore
,
surrounded
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being surrounded
show examples
 by a variety of
animals
 in a naturalistic setting,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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gives a valuable education for people of all ages to gain a broader understanding of
the
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apply
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nature. Yet, some creatures do have their own habitat and
better
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are better
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 suited
in
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to
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 nature. Many of them suffered in unfamiliar environments and
stuggle
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struggled
 to adapt well. Local weather and climate,
for example
, can be
an
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apply
show examples
unfavorable
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unfavourable
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alos
Correct your spelling
and
 difficult factors to bear and make them uncomfortable living in new surroundings. Taking everything into consideration, I believe that whether
zoos
 are a necessary place, a better condition of it can be achieved by the given support from state government to ensure
animals
'
well being
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well-being
show examples
.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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task achievement
Include more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your argument (e.g., specific examples of zoos working as educational centers or any particular instance of animal maltreatment)
task achievement
Focus on providing a clearer distinction between both sides of the argument to enhance understanding.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each main point is comprehensively supported to provide stronger arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, showcasing a well-rounded argument.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas are developed logically, allowing the essay to follow a clear progression of thoughts.
task achievement
Both sides of the argument are discussed, showcasing an understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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