IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

'A country’s museums should always be free for people to visit, whatever the visitor’s age, income or nationality.’ To what level do you agree with this idea? Should museums always be free for all visitors?

#country’s #museums #people #visit #visitor’s #age #income #nationality #level #idea #visitors
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The question of which skills to prioritise for a child’s early education is important for all parents and educators, and
music
Use synonyms
 can certainly claim to be a key possibility when deciding which abilities to teach.
However
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, I feel that playing
music
Use synonyms
 is actually less important than basic
literacy
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, and I will explain the reasons here.
Firstly
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, it seems simplistic to say that
music
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 is paramount ‘for all
children
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.’ Certainly, there are some
children
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 who are highly talented or have
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
 interest in
music
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, and when we think of childhood prodigies
such
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 as Beethoven or Yehudi Menuhin we see how
this
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 talent can be brought out.
However
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,
such
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 talents are rare, and even the enjoyment and cultural values to be gained from learning
music
Use synonyms
 cannot genuinely be compared to the benefits of becoming literate.
Secondly
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, it is a fact that
literacy
Use synonyms
 is a guarantee of academic progress and the absorption of information
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
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 playing
music
Use synonyms
 does not offer
this
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 security.
For example
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, it would be unimaginable to transmit scientific or mathematical information to
children
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 via the medium of
music
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.
Finally
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, it is surely wiser to regard
music
Use synonyms
 as one of a wide range of secondary skills, ranking below
literacy
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 and sitting alongside sports, hobbies, foreign languages and other important but less essential activities. Of course, those who say that highly talented
children
Use synonyms
 must be allowed to develop their talents are quite correct; it is equally true, though, that few
children
Use synonyms
 seem to possess
musical
Add an article
the musical
show examples
 ability to the extent that it should be prioritised so highly for all pupils. In conclusion, I would not wish to underestimate the potential benefits of learning to play
music
Use synonyms
 for a minority of
children
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, and it should certainly be available as an option.
However
Linking Words
, if we think of all
children
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 in a given community,
literacy
Use synonyms
 appears to be a far stronger pathway to progress and independence.
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task achievement
Consider elaborating further on the benefits of literacy beyond academic progress. Examples from real-life could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to illustrate your points about the benefits of literacy compared to music. This would demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Very clear and well-structured essay with a solid introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well supported and logically developed.
task achievement
The essay effectively argues the case for prioritization of literacy over music, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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