IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #city #travel #car #bicycles
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In today's urban landscapes, the choice of
transportation
 mode sparks considerable debate between proponents of
cars
 and
bicycles
.
While
 some
advocates
Fix the agreement mistake
advocate
show examples
 for the
convinience
Correct your spelling
convenience
 and comfort of
cars
 in navigating the
city
 streets,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 emphasize the environmental and
health
 benefits of cycling. In
this
 essay, I will examine
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
, weighing the pros and cons of each mode of
transportation
 before presenting my own reasoned opinion. On the one hand, car
travel
 in cities
offer
Change the verb form
offers
show examples
 significant advantages that cater to the diverse needs of urban commuters.
Firstly
,
cars
 provide undeniable comfort and flexibility by allowing individuals to commute directly from their starting point to
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 destination at any time, without being constrained by fixed schedules and routes.
This
 convenience is particularly beneficial for those residents in town where public
transportation
 may not cover all the areas efficiently or where
travel
 demands vary widely among people.
In addition
,
cars
 provide shelter from adverse weather conditions.
For instance
, a person can
travel
 miles or go
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping and
hence
 carry heavy loads
such
 as groceries or
laugage
Correct your spelling
luggage
 despite rain, snow, or extreme heat thereby ensuring a comfortable and protected journey.
However
,
cars
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own drawbacks.
Cars
 can lead to traffic congestion. With the growing population in the
city
, the demand for
cars
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
also
 inclining.
As a result
,
this
brings
Verb problem
causes
show examples
inconvinience
Correct your spelling
inconvenience
convenience
 for people
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 during office hours by getting stuck in
long
Add an article
a long
the long
show examples
 traffic
jam
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jams
show examples
.
Similarly
, the
emmision
Correct your spelling
emission
 of carbon monoxide from
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
mobile leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
detrimental effects on
urban
Add an article
the urban
show examples
 environment
such
 as air quality degradation.
On the other hand
,
Bicycles
 are
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
 of
cars
.
Bicycles
 are celebrated for their environmental friendliness and
health
 benefits in urban settings. They emit zero pollutants, easing congestion and promoting cleaner air. Despite these advantages, they can be hindered by weather conditions and safety issues, particularly in bustling
city
 environments.
For instance
,
while
 biking promotes fitness, cyclists may encounter risks like accidents or theft, which can discourage widespread adoption as a primary means of
transportation
. In my opinion,
while
cars
 have
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 advantages,
bicycles
 are
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 sustainable and
health conscious
Add a hyphen
health-conscious
show examples
 choice for urban
travel
. The environmental and
health
 benefits of cycling,
along with
 its cost-effectiveness, make it a superior option for
city
 dwellers.
Therefore
, cities should invest in cycling infrastructure to encourage people to adopt
this
eco-freindly
Correct your spelling
eco-friendly
 mode of transport.
Submitted by sandhyathapamagar854 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure, ensure consistent use of grammar and check for any potential ambiguities or repetitions.
task achievement
Develop some of the ideas more comprehensively and provide more specific examples to increase clarity and relevance.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which encapsulates the main points effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses both perspectives on the topic, meeting the task requirements well.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally maintains a clear and logical progression of ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • pollution
  • maintenance
  • eco-friendly
  • infrastructure
  • physical health
  • suitable
  • weather conditions
  • traffic
  • repair costs
  • cycling infrastructure
  • fuel costs
  • carrying heavy loads
  • physical limitations
What to do next:
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