Nowadays, the development of educational system and its equipment is a heated topic since contemporary technology is on the rise in our day to day life.
Nowadays, the development of
educational
system and its equipment is a heated topic since contemporary technology is on the rise in our Add an article
the educational
an educational
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
life
. Society began to realize that the educational system will be replaced by modern ones Fix the agreement mistake
lives
such
as computers, HD whiteboards, and
etc. By the year 2050, many systems are going to change in Correct word choice
apply
a
Correct article usage
the
classroom
.
On the one hand, it is beneficial to enhance the capabilities of learning by equipping the classroom
with the last
versions of technological devices. By that, the effort of Correct word choice
latest
students
studying doubles and students
will have a
pleasure Correct article usage
the
to learn
new information with the innovative systems. Change preposition
of learning
For instance
, in Japan, technological equipment in the primary as well as
in high schools modernized with computers and other stuffs
. Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
Hence
, the student studying rate gradually increased since the appearance of modern devices.
On the other hand
, modern technologies
have a myriad of different features, which is
challenging to use Correct subject-verb agreement
are
at
firsthand until Change preposition
apply
the
one gets used to Correct article usage
apply
it
. Correct pronoun usage
them
Additionally
, teachers who are used to old studying techniques and methods can struggle when it comes to new difficulties with modern devices. For example
, today, paper-based exams are converting into computer-based ones. Meanwhile, those students
who have problems with adopting new technologies
experience bad marks.
In conclusion, taking everything into account, I can conclude that it shows plenty of benefits if the classroom
is equipped with technologies
. Fix the agreement mistake
technology
Initially
, it can create challenges among students
, however
, it is absolutely worth it. The world needs to be equipped with the latest innovations like computers and consequently
on. In short, technologies
are a top priority in the classroom
and overall
learning systemSubmitted by dnm.best on
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Grammar
Ensure accuracy in the use of articles and prepositions. For example, 'educational system' should be 'the educational system.'
Content
Expand on how technological challenges can be mitigated. You mentioned 'students who have problems with adopting new technologies experience bad marks,' but did not suggest solutions.
Vocabulary
Try to enrich your vocabulary by using more varied expressions and synonyms. Words like 'stuff' are too informal; prefer terms like 'equipment' or 'devices.'
Structure
Good overall structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Content
Relevant examples, like the mention of Japan's educational system, add depth to your arguments.
Content
You successfully present both sides of the argument, balancing the benefits and challenges of modern technology in education.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?