Nowadays, the development of educational system and its equipment is a heated topic since contemporary technology is on the rise in our day to day life.

#development #system #equipment #topic #technology #rise #life

Nowadays, the development of

educational

Add an article

the educational

an educational

show examples

system and its equipment is a heated topic since contemporary technology is on the rise in our

day to day

Add a hyphen

day-to-day

show examples

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. Society began to realize that the educational system will be replaced by modern ones

such

as computers, HD whiteboards,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

etc. By the year 2050, many systems are going to change in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

classroom

. On the one hand, it is beneficial to enhance the capabilities of learning by equipping the

classroom

with the

last

Correct word choice

latest

show examples

versions of technological devices. By that, the effort of

students

studying doubles and

students

will have

Correct article usage

the

show examples

pleasure

to learn

Change preposition

of learning

show examples

new information with the innovative systems.

For instance

, in Japan, technological equipment in the primary

as well as

in high schools modernized with computers and other

stuffs

Change the wording

stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

Hence

, the student studying rate gradually increased since the appearance of modern devices.

On the other hand

, modern

technologies

have a myriad of different features, which

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

challenging to use

Change preposition

apply

show examples

firsthand until

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

one gets used to

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

Additionally

, teachers who are used to old studying techniques and methods can struggle when it comes to new difficulties with modern devices.

For example

, today, paper-based exams are converting into computer-based ones. Meanwhile, those

students

who have problems with adopting new

technologies

experience bad marks. In conclusion, taking everything into account, I can conclude that it shows plenty of benefits if the

classroom

is equipped with

technologies

Fix the agreement mistake

technology

show examples

Initially

, it can create challenges among

students

however

, it is absolutely worth it. The world needs to be equipped with the latest innovations like computers and

consequently

on. In short,

technologies

are a top priority in the

classroom

and

overall

learning system

Submitted by dnm.best on Thu Jul 18 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar

Ensure accuracy in the use of articles and prepositions. For example, 'educational system' should be 'the educational system.'

Content

Expand on how technological challenges can be mitigated. You mentioned 'students who have problems with adopting new technologies experience bad marks,' but did not suggest solutions.

Vocabulary

Try to enrich your vocabulary by using more varied expressions and synonyms. Words like 'stuff' are too informal; prefer terms like 'equipment' or 'devices.'

Structure

Good overall structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Content

Relevant examples, like the mention of Japan's educational system, add depth to your arguments.

Content

You successfully present both sides of the argument, balancing the benefits and challenges of modern technology in education.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Prompt: Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve the growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? what other measures do you think might be effective?
It’s inarguably that in this society of constant innovation yet myriad issues and the rising need for itineration and mobility, transportation is essential in one’s life. Nevertheless, chaotic and ungovernable traffic is a conspicuous problem that needs to be tackled, especially when nowadays innovation encourages the use and prompts the normalization of personalized vehicles in every household worldwide. Thus, the prominent idea of elevating the price of fuels for such vehicles is considered the best way to solve the growing traffic. However, I believe that this is not the case and I will propose other effective measures based on my experience.
4
band
The impact that growing demand for more flights has had on the environment is a major concern for many countries. Some people believe that one way to limit the number of people traveling by air is to increase taxes on flights. To what extent do you think this could solve the problem?
there is an ongoing debate, Between people in regard to cutting down the number of travellers through air some believe in the increasing taxes on the flights ,while other disagree with this notion, this essay will disuss the reasons why I disagree with riseing taxes on flights .
8
band
You stayed at your friends’ house when you participated in a business seminar in New Zealand. You left a file with important documents in your room. Write a letter to your friend, describing the file and ask him/her to return it to you by post.
I hope you and your family are doing splendidly. I am doing great too. I am writing this letter in regard to the file which I left at your home whole my stay last month.
4.5
band
Many people believe that social network sites such as face book have had a huge negative on both individuals and society. To what extend do agree or disagree?
There is no denying the fact that social media have good and bad side. While it is a commonly held belief that people may have gotten damage because of social apps, there is also an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that everything in life even social media have good and bad side you are the one who decide it.
6.5
band
Some people think all lawbreakers should be put into prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.”
It is often argued that prison should be the only punishment for all lawbreakers, while others think that there are better alternatives. This essay will discuss both views, before coming to the conclusion that both are equally valid.

Nowadays, the development of educational system and its equipment is a heated topic since contemporary technology is on the rise in our day to day life.

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Prompt: Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve the growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? what other measures do you think might be effective?

The impact that growing demand for more flights has had on the environment is a major concern for many countries. Some people believe that one way to limit the number of people traveling by air is to increase taxes on flights. To what extent do you think this could solve the problem?

You stayed at your friends’ house when you participated in a business seminar in New Zealand. You left a file with important documents in your room. Write a letter to your friend, describing the file and ask him/her to return it to you by post.

Many people believe that social network sites such as face book have had a huge negative on both individuals and society. To what extend do agree or disagree?

Some people think all lawbreakers should be put into prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.”