In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, in some countries, more and more people are preferring
work
before going to
university
.
This
behaviour has positive and negative points, that
this
essay will explain.
Let is
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Let's
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talk about the advantages
firsty
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first
firstly
. One of the main pros is the opportunity to know practical aspects of an area of
interesting
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interest
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.
For example
, if a person
work
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works
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for a construction company after
the
Correct article usage
apply
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high school, he or she will decide better what course at
university
fits more,
for
instance
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instance,
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Engineering or Architecture. Another positive question
,
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apply
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is an opportunity to earn some money and save it.
As a result
, after some years working and making savings, it
possible
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is possible
show examples
to
aplly
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apply
for a more famous and expensive tertiary education.
One
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On
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the other hand, there are some drawbacks. When people
beginning
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begin
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to
work
earlier and
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
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how to do the
work
properly, it can create a lack of motivation to go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
. The person can
go
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do
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well in the
job
and guess that higher education is not necessary anymore.
In addition
, some young people can linger to find a good
job
that
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they
show examples
like
it
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apply
show examples
or change jobs several times.
Consequently
, they will spend some years
to decide
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deciding
show examples
what course to do at college. In conclusion, there are pros and cons in choosing to enrol in
work
-based training
instead
of attending
university
. In my
opinon
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opinion
, the good aspects
overpass
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outweigh
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the negative issues. Learning a
job
before
studing
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studying
academic subjects
,
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apply
show examples
can bring more options to decide what course fits more.
However
, it is important to pay attention
at
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to
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how long
this
experience will take, and obtain as much information as possible about the
job
to help choose
further
academic knowledge.
Submitted by fmulato on

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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear, concise thesis statement in your introduction. This helps to guide the reader on what specifically you will be discussing regarding the advantages and disadvantages.
Task Achievement
Each paragraph should open with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the aspect being discussed, improving the clarity of your main ideas.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding upon your examples with more detail or provide more specific, relevant examples to illustrate your main points. This enriches your argument and supports your viewpoints more thoroughly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure logical ordering of your paragraphs and ideas. It seems you have a coherent structure, but some transitions between paragraphs could be smoother and more explicit.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on the connectivity of ideas within paragraphs. Using a variety of linking words and phrases can help with the flow of your essay and better connect your ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Review your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos. While they do not significantly detract from readability, addressing them will help present a more polished argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
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