In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #enrol #university #situation

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Nowadays, in some countries, more and more people are preferring

work

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before going to

university

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This

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behaviour has positive and negative points, that

this

Linking Words

essay will explain.

Let is

Correct your spelling

Let's

show examples

talk about the advantages

firsty

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first

firstly

. One of the main pros is the opportunity to know practical aspects of an area of

interesting

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interest

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For example

Linking Words

, if a person

Use synonyms

work

Change the verb form

works

show examples

for a construction company after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

high school, he or she will decide better what course at

university

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fits more,

for

Linking Words

instance

Add the comma(s)

instance,

show examples

Engineering or Architecture. Another positive question

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is an opportunity to earn some money and save it.

As a result

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, after some years working and making savings, it

possible

Add a missing verb

is possible

show examples

aplly

Correct your spelling

apply

for a more famous and expensive tertiary education.

One

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show examples

the other hand, there are some drawbacks. When people

beginning

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begin

show examples

work

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earlier and

learning

Wrong verb form

learn

show examples

how to do the

work

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properly, it can create a lack of motivation to go to

the

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apply

show examples

university

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. The person can

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show examples

well in the

job

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and guess that higher education is not necessary anymore.

In addition

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, some young people can linger to find a good

job

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that

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

or change jobs several times.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they will spend some years

to decide

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deciding

show examples

what course to do at college. In conclusion, there are pros and cons in choosing to enrol in

work

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-based training

instead

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of attending

university

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. In my

opinon

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opinion

, the good aspects

overpass

Verb problem

outweigh

show examples

the negative issues. Learning a

job

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before

studing

Correct your spelling

studying

academic subjects

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apply

show examples

can bring more options to decide what course fits more.

However

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, it is important to pay attention

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show examples

how long

this

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experience will take, and obtain as much information as possible about the

job

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to help choose

further

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academic knowledge.

Submitted by fmulato on Sat Mar 23 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure a clear, concise thesis statement in your introduction. This helps to guide the reader on what specifically you will be discussing regarding the advantages and disadvantages.

Task Achievement

Each paragraph should open with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the aspect being discussed, improving the clarity of your main ideas.

Task Achievement

Consider expanding upon your examples with more detail or provide more specific, relevant examples to illustrate your main points. This enriches your argument and supports your viewpoints more thoroughly.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure logical ordering of your paragraphs and ideas. It seems you have a coherent structure, but some transitions between paragraphs could be smoother and more explicit.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on the connectivity of ideas within paragraphs. Using a variety of linking words and phrases can help with the flow of your essay and better connect your ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

Review your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos. While they do not significantly detract from readability, addressing them will help present a more polished argument.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-based training
enrol
university
advantages
disadvantages
practical skills
experience
workforce
employment
earnings
opportunities
further education
theoretical knowledge
career options
exploitation
balance

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in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. some people say that an aging population creates problems for government. other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. does advantage outweigh disadvantage

some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do agree or dis agree ?.

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?