The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?
Nowadays,
it is clear that
the old habitations are unsuitable for the existing living conditions. Although
, it might have been people’s choices in the past. There are several causes of this
issue as well as
the
potential initiatives which can be introduced to solutions.
To commence, the primary reason is the lack of transportation problem for citizens. In the past, accessibility to various facilities Correct article usage
apply
such
as hospitals, Correct word choice
and convenient
convenient
stores, might have been unnecessary to think about, solely needing a habitat without consideration regarding the location. Replace the word
convenience
However
, due to
urbanization throughout many years, there has been a proliferation of several constructions, including tall buildings and large roads. This
potentially leaves numerous small towns separately with a little
road far away from the urban, causing many residents to have difficulty in reaching facilities.
Another factor is climate Correct word choice
small
change
, there might be a significant change
in the design of the former city. In other words
, citizens in some areas designed their houses to prevent damage from various disasters in the past, but it has rarely happened in recent years due to
a change
in seasons. A good example for
Change preposition
of
this
is a former
rural area in Thailand, where the first floor of every house Change the adjective
formerly
starting
approximately 3 metres above Verb problem
is
from
the ground since there Change preposition
apply
had
been Wrong verb form
has
flooding
Correct article usage
a flooding
problem
every year. Fix the agreement mistake
problems
Nevertheless
, flooding is rarely found in today’s world, leading to a useless of
old-fashioned design.
To solve these problems, Change preposition
apply
firstly
, an enhancement of public transportation is required to cover almost all of the areas in a city, offering a
more convenient Correct article usage
apply
in
commuting for people even Change preposition
apply
they
live in a suburban area. Correct word choice
if they
For instance
, Japan’s government provide public buses or trains which can access to
various areas, important locations like hospitals Change preposition
apply
in particular
, to allow every people
to access the facility easily. Fix the agreement mistake
person
Then
, the way forward must be modernization
and renovation of old cities. Correct article usage
the modernization
This
issue might be done by each individual themselves or supported by government
to offer a more suitable hometown for the environment nowadays.
In conclusion, it is undoubtedly the root causes of unsuitable hometowns in today’s world are mainly Add an article
the government
from
Change preposition
apply
the
climate Correct article usage
apply
change
and unavailability
of public transportation, which highly Correct article usage
the unavailability
impact
Change the verb form
impacts
to
former citizens. I believe that the possible solution to tackle these issues can start Change preposition
apply
from
an increase of public buses and tubes provided by the government and home renovation to suit current weather conditions.Change preposition
with
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task achievement
Your essay introduces and addresses the two main problems and proposes solutions, which is good for task achievement. However, some of the points could be elaborated further with more specific details and examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow between some points and paragraphs could be improved. Try using more cohesive devices to maintain a clear and logical structure throughout the essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the main points of the essay.
complete response
You have addressed both parts of the task, discussing the problems and proposing solutions with relevant examples, which shows a clear understanding of the task requirements.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?