It is important for people to take risk, both in professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disavantages?

#people #risk #lives #risks #disavantages

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Taking

Use synonyms

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

both

Use synonyms

professional lives and personal lives

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

like a coin which have

both

Use synonyms

sides which are advantages and disadvantages.

This

Linking Words

leading

Wrong verb form

leads

show examples

to a controversial issue debating on the topic of whether taking

Use synonyms

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

both

Use synonyms

aspects of

lives

Fix the agreement mistake

life

show examples

offers more benefits.

However

Linking Words

, after a thorough consideration, it is firmly believed that

risk

Use synonyms

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

more positive effects compared to the negative

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

. It is undeniable that

risk

Use synonyms

could

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

to dangerous and unexpected

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

life

Use synonyms

, meaning that when

people

Use synonyms

decided

Wrong verb form

decide

show examples

to take a

risk

Use synonyms

in one situation they could end up facing

nagative

Correct your spelling

negative

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

to climb

Change the verb form

climbing

show examples

mountain

Replace the word

Mount

show examples

Everest is one of the

risky

Correct quantifier usage

most risky

show examples

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

the hikers could be dead upon the trail.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, the advantages of taking

Use synonyms

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

could be more beneficial in the aspects of

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

personal

life

Use synonyms

and professional

life

Use synonyms

. In the part of personal

life

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

taking

Use synonyms

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

could

faced

Change the verb form

face

show examples

new experiences towards the novel situations. By getting

to be

Verb problem

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

unfamiliar place, there are many chances to learn about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

different cultures, languages and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

perspective

Fix the agreement mistake

perspectives

show examples

. It

can be

Wrong verb form

show examples

clearly

Change the word

clear

show examples

when

people

Use synonyms

travel to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

foriegn

Correct your spelling

foreign

country, there is a

risk

Use synonyms

of getting lost but

people

Use synonyms

could find the hidden gemstone of that country by taking a

risk

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

show examples

being lost.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the professional perspective on taking

Use synonyms

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

could

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new

discovery

Fix the agreement mistake

discoveries

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

innovation which could

benefits

Change the verb form

benefit

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

as a whole.

For example

Linking Words

, the new

vaccince

Correct your spelling

vaccine

that could prevent us from getting the COVID-19 disease are from the laboratory that

study about

Wrong verb form

studies

show examples

this

Linking Words

malicios

Correct your spelling

malicious

virus. In conclusion, it is true that

risk

Use synonyms

could

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

negative results, but not always.

This

Linking Words

means that the advantages of taking

Use synonyms

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

both

Use synonyms

personal and

profession

Replace the word

professional

show examples

parts

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

outweight

Correct your spelling

outweigh

outweighed

the disadvantages.

Submitted by pattaraporn.konj on Thu Jul 18 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

While the introduction provides a clear stance, the thesis statement could be more impactful. For instance, you might explicitly state why taking risks brings more benefits than drawbacks.

task achievement

Strengthen your body paragraphs with more specific examples and detailed explanations. This will help in making your main points more convincing.

task achievement

Try to reduce grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'risk could leads' which should be 'risks could lead'. A thorough grammar check can improve clarity and readability.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoints. This provides a cohesive end to the essay.

task achievement

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks, providing a balanced perspective before taking a clear stance.

coherence cohesion

You have made good use of transition words (e.g., 'for instance,' 'nevertheless') which enhance the flow of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
48
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

294 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Risk-taking
Professional advancement
Innovation
Personal growth
Fulfillment
Resilience
Pursuit
Potential
Failure
Financial loss
Stress
Relationships
Risk assessment
Risk management
Cultural attitudes
Mitigate

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people today believe that the world’s increase in population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis. Other people believe that a world population increase is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world’s economy and society. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
overpopulation is inevitably occured in the future as the modern technologies are envolving and facilities higher effectiveness in curing, leading to higher longevity. While some people argue that an increase in world population is needed and beneficial to world’s economy and societal growth, I side with those who believe that this situation will lead to a catastrophe.
4
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve the people's lives . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
These days , science has become a crucial segment of our lives. Some people assume that the core objective of science should be to better the human's lives . I totally agree with this idea and in this essay I will support my opinion with examples.
5.5
band
For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is true that school children are at an impressionable age, and two strong influences on their intelligence and social development are teachers and parents. While I accept that teachers may have more influence on their pupils’ intelligence, I would argue that parents probably exert a greater influence on the social development of their children.
4.5
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.
There are elective subjects as other focus studies beside straight-forward subjects. While some university students argue to explore other courses in addition to their main courses, I side with those who feel that it is more crucial to dedicate all time and effort to learn for a requirement.
5.5
band
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
There is no denying the fact that in our modern life, advertisement campaigns have become crucial. While it is a commonly held belief that emphasising that the products are new is essential, there is also an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that, as a customer, I would like to buy new products rather than old ones, so emphasising that products are new in an advertisement will encourage people to buy them.

It is important for people to take risk, both in professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disavantages?

Fully explain your ideas

The most important aim of science should be to improve the people's lives . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?