It is important for people to take risk, both in professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disavantages?
Taking
risk
in Fix the agreement mistake
risks
both
professional lives and personal lives are
like a coin which have Correct subject-verb agreement
is
both
sides which are advantages and disadvantages. This
leading
to a controversial issue debating on the topic of whether taking Wrong verb form
leads
risk
in Fix the agreement mistake
risks
both
aspects of lives
offers more benefits. Fix the agreement mistake
life
However
, after a thorough consideration, it is firmly believed that risk
provide
more positive effects compared to the negative Change the verb form
provides
one
.
It is undeniable that Correct pronoun usage
ones
risk
could leads
to dangerous and unexpected Change the verb form
lead
situation
in Fix the agreement mistake
situations
life
, meaning that when people
decided
to take a Wrong verb form
decide
risk
in one situation they could end up facing nagative
Correct your spelling
negative
result
. Fix the agreement mistake
results
For instance
, to climb
Change the verb form
climbing
mountain
Everest is one of the Replace the word
Mount
risky
Correct quantifier usage
most risky
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
which
the hikers could be dead upon the trail. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Nevertheless
, the advantages of taking risk
could be more beneficial in the aspects ofFix the agreement mistake
risks
and
personal Correct word choice
apply
life
and professional life
.
In the part of personal life
, people
taking risk
could Fix the agreement mistake
risks
faced
new experiences towards the novel situations. By getting Change the verb form
face
to be
in Verb problem
apply
the
unfamiliar place, there are many chances to learn about Correct article usage
an
the
different cultures, languages and Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
perspective
. It Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
can be
Wrong verb form
is
clearly
when Change the word
clear
people
travel to the
Correct article usage
a
foriegn
country, there is a Correct your spelling
foreign
risk
of getting lost but people
could find the hidden gemstone of that country by taking a risk
for
being lost.
Change preposition
of
Furthermore
, the professional perspective on taking risk
could Fix the agreement mistake
risks
leads
to Change the verb form
lead
the
new Correct article usage
apply
discovery
of Fix the agreement mistake
discoveries
the
innovation which could Correct article usage
apply
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
the
Correct article usage
apply
human
as a whole. Fix the agreement mistake
humans
For example
, the new vaccince
that could prevent us from getting the COVID-19 disease are from the laboratory that Correct your spelling
vaccine
study about
Wrong verb form
studies
this
malicios
virus.
In conclusion, it is true that Correct your spelling
malicious
risk
could leads
to Change the verb form
lead
the
negative results, but not always. Correct article usage
apply
This
means that the advantages of taking risk
on Fix the agreement mistake
risks
both
personal and profession
parts Replace the word
professional
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
outweight
the disadvantages.Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighed
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coherence cohesion
While the introduction provides a clear stance, the thesis statement could be more impactful. For instance, you might explicitly state why taking risks brings more benefits than drawbacks.
task achievement
Strengthen your body paragraphs with more specific examples and detailed explanations. This will help in making your main points more convincing.
task achievement
Try to reduce grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'risk could leads' which should be 'risks could lead'. A thorough grammar check can improve clarity and readability.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoints. This provides a cohesive end to the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks, providing a balanced perspective before taking a clear stance.
coherence cohesion
You have made good use of transition words (e.g., 'for instance,' 'nevertheless') which enhance the flow of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.