You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. We should introduce laws to make businesses and state services employ equal numbers of male and female workers in every department or area of the company. How far do you support this idea? Give reasons for your answer, and support your essay with ideas and examples from your own experience.

Many people believe that it is necessary to promulgate
laws
to ensure equality in the number of male and female workers in every department or area of a company.
However
, in my opinion, and the rest,
this
idea is unnecessary and even counterproductive. In
this
essay, I will clarify my views
Firstly
, it must be admitted that gender imbalance is still a hot social issue.
Although
there have been many changes and advances in recent decades, women are still an underrepresented
workforce
in many fields and crucial positions. Many studies have shown that companies that have a diverse
workforce
of both genders and ages have higher success rates because they are better able to understand and respond to the diversity of customer requirements.
Secondly
,
while
some argue that introducing
laws
to ensure equal representation of male and female workers could be counterproductive, I believe that
this
is not necessarily the case. Companies may
initially
comply with the law to achieve gender balance in the
workforce
, but many occupations will suit different gender types. Females make up the majority of the teaching profession,
while
there are very few options for engineers and pilots, which is the opposite for males. I think that promulgating a law is unnecessary because the most important thing is job compatibility.
In addition
, each person will have their advantages for a specific profession.
Instead
of promulgating a law, we should improve the quality of training to fully develop the development potential of the
workforce
. In conclusion, I believe that introducing
laws
to ensure equal representation of male and female workers in every department or area of a company is a necessary step towards creating a more diverse and successful
workforce
.
While
there may be some challenges associated with implementing
such
laws
, the benefits are likely to outweigh the costs in the long run.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

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task achievement
Ensure you fully respond to all parts of the task. Your conclusion appears to contradict your initial argument, which may confuse the reader.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Use cohesive devices appropriately to connect ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your main points. These examples should be clearly linked to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Paragraphs should have clear central ideas supported by specific detail. Some paragraphs lack clear focus and development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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