In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Medical care is one of the most basic requirements for the sustenance of human life.
Although
Linking Words
,
most countries' citizens have to pay for their medical checkups, others believe that the Remove the comma
apply
government
makes Use synonyms
such
necessities free for all. Linking Words
This
essay completely agrees with Linking Words
this
statement as the Linking Words
government
has enough resources to provide free healthcare. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, the poor Linking Words
people
benefit a lot by making Use synonyms
such
amenities free of charge.
Even though the Linking Words
government
has a lot of funds in the form of taxes and other incomes, they do not spend Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
money
for the well-being of their Use synonyms
people
. Use synonyms
People
in almost every country must pay high tax rates to their Use synonyms
government
, Use synonyms
while
the authorities use these resources for other purposes like war or space exploration programmes. Linking Words
For instance
, in 2019 the US spent almost two billion dollars on their war against Iraq. Linking Words
This
Linking Words
money
could have been used to save millions of lives in their homeland.
Whilst the Use synonyms
government
spends Use synonyms
people
's valuable Use synonyms
money
on lots of different purposes, there are many who pass away Use synonyms
due to
easily treatable diseases. Linking Words
Linking Words
This
especially true for the case for those who fall below the poverty line. Because they cannot afford quality treatment, they do not even seek medical care. Add a verb
This is
This was
For example
, in 2010, thousands of Americans who were homeless died from communicable diseases. These illnesses were extremely easy to treat with antibiotics.
Linking Words
To conclude
, I agree that the Linking Words
government
should make health care free for everyone Use synonyms
instead
of spending it on unnecessary purposesLinking Words
,
since they take their citizen's hard-earned Remove the comma
apply
money
as taxes. Use synonyms
Additionally
, those who cannot afford treatment, like the poor, can easily live a long life by doing so.Linking Words
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task achievement
Elaborate more on how the government has enough resources to provide free healthcare. This could strengthen your main argument.
task achievement
Consider adding a counter-argument to show a balanced perspective. Address potential drawbacks or opposing views briefly before refuting them.
coherence cohesion
Smooth out some of the transitions between ideas and paragraphs to ensure a more seamless flow of information.
coherence cohesion
Check for minor grammatical and punctuation errors to enhance readability. For instance, there are some missing commas and inconsistent phrasing.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly sets the stage for the essay, stating the argument and the stance effectively.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the stance taken in the essay.
relevant specific examples
Relevant and specific examples are provided to support the main arguments, which adds credibility to the points made.
logical structure
The essay maintains a logical structure with clear paragraphs for each main point.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?