IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In today's world, it is private companies rather than government who pay for and carry out most on scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#world #companies #government #research
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Who is responsible for paying the scientific research? Some people would say the
government
while
 others might say the private
companies
. Both are valid answers and they each have their pros and cons. We will dive through the reasons why I believe the
government
 should be responsible for the cost of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientific research. Private
companies
 might be doing more than the
government
's
job
 but people believe that it's the
government
's work. If private
companies
 continue to do more work than the
government
, they will
loose there
Correct your spelling
lose their
show examples
 control over some places and they will be less dependent. Private
companies
 seek their money and do not think from the perspective of the individual.
On the other hand
, the
government
 cares about their individuals because
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 their responsibility and they do not have the money as their
priorty
Correct your spelling
priority
. As an
individual
Add a comma
individual,
show examples
 I trust the
government
 more than the private
companies
 because I know
its there
Correct your spelling
it's their
show examples
job
 to protect us and provide us with what we need.
Also
, the
government
 will do whatever
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 can to avoid the chaos that will happen if they do less of their
job
. To summarize,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should take their
job
 seriously because everything they do might affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals on various things. Private
companies
 are
also
 beneficial for the country,
however
, it depends on what company it is and if it is trustworthy or not.
Submitted by aledailah2003 on

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task achievement
While your essay presents a stance on the topic, it would benefit from addressing both sides of the argument more thoroughly before concluding why you believe the government should fund scientific research.
coherence cohesion
Ensure clearer and stronger topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Consider providing concrete examples and evidence to support your claims. This will help to strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the transition between paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay, and ensure that your ideas connect logically.
coherence cohesion
Check for minor grammatical errors and correct use of vocabulary to make your essay more polished and professional.
task achievement
Your essay topic is relevant, and you have made a clear attempt to answer the question.
task achievement
You show a good understanding of the prompt and have articulated your viewpoint clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, aiding in overall readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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