It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

In today’s society, people’s perspectives on education have shown significant divergence. Some believe that
punishment
plays a key role in helping
children
understand the difference between right and wrong. I agree with
this
viewpoint and will outline some practical punishments that can guide
children
towards demonstrating good
behaviour
. There are several indicators that proper
punishment
can mitigate reckless and incorrect
behaviour
in young
children
and set a solid foundation for their cognitive development.
For example
, when
children
exhibit unreasonable
behaviour
that leads to serious consequences, parents and teachers should implement a
punishment
to deter them from repeating it.
This
approach not only helps
children
understand the gravity of their actions but
also
leaves a lasting impression, making it less likely that they will repeat the
behaviour
in the future. Regarding the type of
punishment
, it must be an effective deterrent and used in moderation without causing trauma to
children
.
For instance
,
children
are often obsessed with toys;
therefore
, limiting their play with them serves as an effective form of
punishment
.
This
approach can create a temporary sense of loss, which helps achieve the goal of the
punishment
.
Moreover
, it
also
fosters self-discipline and responsibility. In conclusion, proper
punishment
is essential for
children
at an early age. It not only guides them onto the right path in life but
also
reduces potential risks in the future, provided that the
punishment
is appropriate and beneficial.
This
ensures that
children
lead better lives and paves the way for them to become thoughtful adults.
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task response
The essay could benefit from a more nuanced view on the role of punishment, perhaps considering positive reinforcement alongside punishment as alternatives. Additionally, discussing potential long-term effects of punishment could strengthen the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The transition between the first and second body paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the flow of ideas. Consider using linking phrases to connect the ideas more effectively.
structure
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
support
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, making the argument persuasive.
clarity
The ideas are clearly and comprehensively presented, making it easy for the reader to follow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
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