It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

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In today’s society, people’s perspectives on education have shown significant divergence. Some believe that

punishment

plays a key role in helping

children

understand the difference between right and wrong. I agree with

this

viewpoint and will outline some practical punishments that can guide

children

towards demonstrating good

behaviour

. There are several indicators that proper

punishment

can mitigate reckless and incorrect

behaviour

in young

children

and set a solid foundation for their cognitive development.

For example

, when

children

exhibit unreasonable

behaviour

that leads to serious consequences, parents and teachers should implement a

punishment

to deter them from repeating it.

This

approach not only helps

children

understand the gravity of their actions but

also

leaves a lasting impression, making it less likely that they will repeat the

behaviour

in the future. Regarding the type of

punishment

, it must be an effective deterrent and used in moderation without causing trauma to

children

For instance

children

are often obsessed with toys;

therefore

, limiting their play with them serves as an effective form of

punishment

This

approach can create a temporary sense of loss, which helps achieve the goal of the

punishment

Moreover

, it

also

fosters self-discipline and responsibility. In conclusion, proper

punishment

is essential for

children

at an early age. It not only guides them onto the right path in life but

also

reduces potential risks in the future, provided that the

punishment

is appropriate and beneficial.

This

ensures that

children

lead better lives and paves the way for them to become thoughtful adults.

Submitted by zora840810 on Fri Jul 19 2024

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task response

The essay could benefit from a more nuanced view on the role of punishment, perhaps considering positive reinforcement alongside punishment as alternatives. Additionally, discussing potential long-term effects of punishment could strengthen the argument.

coherence and cohesion

The transition between the first and second body paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the flow of ideas. Consider using linking phrases to connect the ideas more effectively.

structure

The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

support

The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, making the argument persuasive.

clarity

The ideas are clearly and comprehensively presented, making it easy for the reader to follow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

punishment
positive reinforcement
consequences
time-outs
removal of privileges
open communication
clear expectations
consistency
fairness
disciplinary action
proportionate
moral values
internalization

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish.

Many people believe that modern technology has brought people together but other say it has driven us apart. Discuss the both views and give your opinion.

The main purpose of a university is to provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed for students to get a good job. To what extent do you agree?