IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books rather than paper books. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

#years #people #e-books #paper #books #support
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In modern society, some
people
 have been discussing whether
people
 are exposed to positive information through
e-
books
 or not, with individuals believing that the benefits of using electronic
books
 overshadow the downsides. In
this
 essay, I will debate and explain my opinion about
this
 topic.
To begin
 with, there is a more persuasive argument that reading
books
 on mobile devices exerts a negative effect on
people
's understanding.
This
 is because there would be scientific research that supports
this
 too. On the one hand,
e-
books
 are better in practical aspects than conventional
books
.
Furthermore
, if students put paper
books
 in their bags the boo is destructured more easily.
However
, electronic
books
 are much more free to carry out wherever they are going.
As a result
, many folks read on railways and at bus stops.
For example
, more and more 50% of
people
 prefer to read on smartphones among all kinds of
books
 since
e-
books
 appeared.
Nevertheless
, using
books
 on mobile devices has some problems for two reasons.
Firstly
, many communities who study with
e-
books
 do not understand more than others.
Moreover
, reading conventional
books
 does good for an individual's memories. For these reasons, a bunch of educational facilities prefer to use original
books
.
For instance
,
according to
 experts, paper
books
 exert a beneficial influence on folk studies. In conclusion, reading
e-
books
 contributes to bad academic grades, which cannot focus on their studies because electronic
books
 have
an adverse effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
an adverse effect
adverse effects
show examples
 on
people
's focus.
Submitted by garim4645 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure your arguments are clearly organized into distinct paragraphs. Begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea.
task achievement
The essay needs a more balanced discussion. Consider addressing both sides of the argument equally and then drawing a reasoned conclusion based on the discussion.
task achievement
There are some vague statements like 'there would be scientific research that supports this too.' Be specific and provide clear, concrete examples and evidence to support your points.
introduction
The introduction clearly states the purpose of the essay and what it aims to discuss.
task achievement
The essay does include some relevant specific examples, particularly in comparing the practical aspects of e-books and paper books.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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