Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The pace of living has been getting faster every year, driven by the competitiveness of
nowaday’s
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today’s
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society.
This
has
also
been reflected
on
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in
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children’s education, as there have been calls for increasing the
time
expent
Correct your spelling
spent
on educational activities. Having the kids focus only on their educational curriculum may bring some positive
as well as
negative points. On one hand, extending the hours the young students allocated to improve their knowledge in school subjects may help them gain some basic general knowledge and achieve the marks they need for their future chosen careers.
Consecuently
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Consequently
, their discipline with their studies and hard work would prepare them for adult life, as diligence is a highly appreciated skill.
For example
, an office worker with the ability to concentrate and deliver a task on
time
is more likely to keep their job during a redundancy period than one with difficulties
to finish
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finishing
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their work without external aids.
On the other hand
, allowing
the
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apply
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youngsters to have some spare
time
can lead to them developing a complex set of social and interpersonal skills that may open some doors for them in the future, or even aid them find the career path that
fulfills
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fulfils
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them. Finding drive in tasks of
every day
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everyday
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life can turn the future leaders of the country into passionate professionals that outperform and innovate in their fields.
For example
, a doctor
that
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who
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enjoys their practice is more likely to treat their patients with care than one
that
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who
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studied
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for the
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the
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a
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bachelor because of their parents. Personally speaking, I consider that finding a balance between education and personal
time
is very important. Parents and teachers tend to forget that the real world is not exclusively related to school subjects, and there are some abilities that must be learnt outside of school. Apart from that, it has been noticed in recent years that it should be mandatory to allow for periods of relaxation in order to maintain
a
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apply
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good mental health.
To sum up
, discipline and a good knowledge base are important for any adult,
however
, there are some social skills that are learnt outside of the
educational
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education
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and are key to
navigate
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navigating
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through life.
Submitted by agallegoalonso94 on

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Formal Writing
Ensure that there is a clear and concise thesis statement in your introduction to better guide the reader about your stance.
Coherence
Include smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance flow and coherence.
Grammar
Avoid minor grammatical errors and typos, and proofread to enhance readability and professionalism.
Content
The essay effectively discusses multiple perspectives on the topic, offering balanced insights.
Examples
Good use of relevant examples which bolster the arguments presented.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively sums up the points discussed, reinforcing the argument made.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unstructured free time
  • creativity
  • mental health development
  • extracurricular activities
  • well-rounded development
  • sports
  • arts
  • social skills
  • family time
  • emotional growth
  • relationship building
  • rest and leisure
  • academic performance
  • burnout
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