IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Write a report with this question: The bar chart shows the types of media that people of different age groups used to get daily news in one country in 2011.

Write a report with this question: The bar chart shows the types of media that people of different age groups used to get daily news in one country in 2011.
#report #bar #media #people #age #groups #news #country
The provided bar chart illustrates how
people
 used
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
various media to be informed by
news
 in five different age
classification
Fix the agreement mistake
classifications
show examples
 in a
country
 in 2011. It can be clearly seen that the highest percentage of
people
 in adult
ages
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 to
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
show examples
 the
radio
 to get
news
.
However
,elderly
people
 did not tend to get
news
 from
micro-bloging
Correct your spelling
micro-blogging
 very much over the period. In 2011,the
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
show examples
 who were between 30 to 49
years
 old chose to be aware of
news
 by
radio
 (nearly %95) in a
country
.(Which was the highest percentage of
people
 over the period).
Moreover
,listening to the
radio
for getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
news
 for
people
 who were 18-29
years
 old was as popular as
people
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
50-64
years
 old at more than 90
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in one
country
 in 2011.
In addition
,getting
news
 from
radio
 for the communities who were more than 65
years
 old was considerably more popular than using micro-blogging in
this
 age in 2011. Surprisingly,the percentage of populations who preferred to get
news
 from social networks in
ages
 10-17
years
old
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
was completely the same as
people
in
Change preposition
aged
show examples
ages
 18-29
years
old
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
at %80 in a region in 2011.
Additionally
,just 10 percent of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 liked to get
news
 from digital networks in
ages
 over 65
years
 old in an area in 2011.
Also
,the proportion of getting information from micro-bloging
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ages18-29
years
 old was roughly 25 per cent,just ahead of
people
 who were
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
10-17
years
 old at
at
Correct your spelling
20
%20 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
country
 in 2011.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, news, country, ages, radio, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: