Most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees this is beneficial. To what extent is globalisation a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answers and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience

Globalisation has changed our
world
into a better place still is an argument. Some
people
say their culture is lost
due to
globalisation and disagree with
this
statement. From
writer’s
Correct article usage
the writer’s
show examples
perspective, our
world
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
changed since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
is
Verb problem
became
show examples
apart
Correct your spelling
a part
show examples
of our life.
Globalised
Correct article usage
A globalised
show examples
world
was
happened
Verb problem
created
show examples
after
people
accepted to use
technology
Change preposition
of technology
show examples
in daily life. Being accepted among global organizations is what
leader
Fix the agreement mistake
leaders
show examples
in every country desire. Citizens
are not only be
Change the verb form
are not only
show examples
global citizens but they are earn new knowledge and technology easily. The quality of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
increasing too owing to
fact
Add an article
the fact
show examples
that citizens are able to get
education
Add an article
an education
show examples
. The more educated
people
, the more
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
is developed. There is a huge benefit
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
being accepted,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
sometimes take advantage
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
their
people
,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
is easier for
people
to call out and ask for
helps
Change the wording
help
bits of help
show examples
from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
worldwide
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
. #whathappeninMyanmar or #whathappeninRafah would be the best example to extend
this
statement and show other
people
what they are been faced with. Being globalised,
people
are communicate
Change the verb form
communicate
show examples
better, they can communicate across the
world
and they can show the
world
their cultures. Tourists are interested
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
unknown cultures. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
, tourists are likely to experience a new activity they have just
know
Wrong verb form
known
show examples
therefore
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
can earn more income
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
our country and assist economic flow easily. In conclusion, even
coin
Correct article usage
a coin
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
two sides,
people
can choose what views they want to see. It would be the best sentence to describe
this
statement.
However
, globalisation is helping us in
many
Correct your spelling
any
show examples
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
and we should
Submitted by apichaya4768 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing more specific and varied examples to support your arguments. Instead of only mentioning global hashtags, you could specify the processes through which globalisation aids in problem-solving or cultural exchange.
coherence cohesion
Try to make your essay's structure clearer by ensuring that each paragraph has a distinct main idea and logical flow. Revisit the transitions between paragraphs to make sure they guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
Work on your grammar and vocabulary to reduce errors and make your essay more comprehensible. Some sentences are difficult to understand due to awkward phrasing or incorrect word usage.
task achievement
You have a clear position on the topic and an understanding of the issue at hand.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which shows a structured approach.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples from current events to illustrate your points, which makes your argument more relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: