The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from the sugar canes .

#process #sugar #canes

The diagram demonstrates the procedure for producing

sugar

from

sugar

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

Overall

, the process consists of seven stages, beginning with growing the

sugar

canes

and ending up with drying and cooling the

sugar

crystals. In the first

stage

, the

sugar

canes

are grown in a field for 12-18 months . After that ,the

sugar

canes

are harvested

Change preposition

show examples

two modes.

Firstly

, farmers

harvested

Wrong verb form

harvest

show examples

them manually .

Secondly

, some people used harvesting machines to harvest the ripened

sugar

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

.In the next

stage

,the

sugar

canes

are

putted

Correct your spelling

put

show examples

in a crushing device to get juice . In the fourth

stage

, juice is passed through a limestone filter for purification.

Furthermore

, purified juice is heated in an evaporator

as a result

it becomes a syrup . In the sixth

stage

,syrup containing

sugar

crystals is passed through a centrifugal machine which separates the

sugar

crystals from

Correct article usage

the

show examples

syrup.

Finally

sugar

is dried and cooled in a drum for market use .

Submitted by mianraza686 on Fri Jul 19 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes, stage with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

158 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.
There is no denying the fact that teaching children to be a good person is an important thing. While it is a commonly held belief that parents must teach kids how to be good members of society, there is also an argument that school is the right place to do that. This essay will analyse this topic from both views and express my opinion.
4.5
band
Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Some believe the invention of computer should be considered as the most important industry of the last century, although there is another idea that mentions other inventions had more capability to be known as the best. I am in agreement with the first group. The invention of computer in the last century can be accounted as a revolution in science and more than it, in human life. The utilities and abilities of this newborn technology created new branches of science like internet, Internatinal technology, computer sciences, video games and unlimited fields which changed and promoted human life to a higher level in comparison to the past history. The growth of new sciences which derived from computer science would create so many new jobs and make the life easier for people. Nowadays living without computer involvement is unbearable and to some extent impossible. However there is another opinion which says we had more important inventions in the last century. Some suggest cinema as the ...
4.5
band
These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine rather than following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, a significant amount of individuals claim that too many of them maintain their well-being by couting on medical professionals and medicine, rather than living a healthy lifestyle. In my view, it is needless to say that the majority of people are relying on doctors, meaning that they would not do anything by themselves.
4
band
Task 1 Process: The process of pu-erh raw tea and ripe Tea
The Diagram illustrates all the steps by which pu’erh raw and ripened tea are produced. Overall, there are three different stages phases in this proceeding, beginning with initial inactivation and drying, followed by either aging or fermentation and finally storage in the case of the raw tea and compression for the ripe tea.
5.5
band
Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should spend time on important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The discussion regarding whether students should engage in the study of food science and culinary skills or concentrate exclusively on core subjects has been a long-standing point of contention. Both viewpoints have their merits, and it is crucial to weigh the advantages and disadvantages of each stance.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from the sugar canes .

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine rather than following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Task 1 Process: The process of pu-erh raw tea and ripe Tea

Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should spend time on important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.