The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from the sugar canes .

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from the sugar canes .
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The diagram demonstrates the procedure for producing
sugar
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from
sugar
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canes
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cane
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.
Overall
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, the process consists of seven stages, beginning with growing the
sugar
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canes
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and ending up with drying and cooling the
sugar
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crystals. In the first
stage
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, the
sugar
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canes
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are grown in a field for 12-18 months . After that ,the
sugar
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canes
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are harvested
by
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in
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two modes.
Firstly
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, farmers
harvested
Wrong verb form
harvest
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them manually .
Secondly
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, some people used harvesting machines to harvest the ripened
sugar
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Use synonyms
canes
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cane
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.In the next
stage
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,the
sugar
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canes
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are
putted
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put
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in a crushing device to get juice . In the fourth
stage
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, juice is passed through a limestone filter for purification.
Furthermore
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, purified juice is heated in an evaporator
as a result
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it becomes a syrup . In the sixth
stage
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,syrup containing
sugar
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crystals is passed through a centrifugal machine which separates the
sugar
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crystals from
a
Correct article usage
the
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syrup.
Finally
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,
sugar
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is dried and cooled in a drum for market use .
Submitted by mianraza686 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes, stage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultivation
  • Harvesting
  • Processing plant
  • Crushing
  • Extraction
  • Purification
  • Evaporation
  • Crystallization
  • Centrifuge
  • Molasses
  • Raw sugar
  • Refinement
  • Distribution
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