The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from the sugar canes .

#process #sugar #canes

The diagram demonstrates the procedure for producing

sugar

from

sugar

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

Overall

, the process consists of seven stages, beginning with growing the

sugar

canes

and ending up with drying and cooling the

sugar

crystals. In the first

stage

, the

sugar

canes

are grown in a field for 12-18 months . After that ,the

sugar

canes

are harvested

Change preposition

show examples

two modes.

Firstly

, farmers

harvested

Wrong verb form

harvest

show examples

them manually .

Secondly

, some people used harvesting machines to harvest the ripened

sugar

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

.In the next

stage

,the

sugar

canes

are

putted

Correct your spelling

put

show examples

in a crushing device to get juice . In the fourth

stage

, juice is passed through a limestone filter for purification.

Furthermore

, purified juice is heated in an evaporator

as a result

it becomes a syrup . In the sixth

stage

,syrup containing

sugar

crystals is passed through a centrifugal machine which separates the

sugar

crystals from

Correct article usage

the

show examples

syrup.

Finally

sugar

is dried and cooled in a drum for market use .

Submitted by mianraza686 on Fri Jul 19 2024

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes, stage with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

158 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from the sugar canes .

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialize facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some think increasing business and cultural contact between nations is positive. Others think it leads to the disappearance of the national identity. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

in most of the countries, people prefer to live in rented appartment rather than buying a home? what are the advantages and disadvantages of iving in rented accomodation?