Some people believe that by killing someone society is also making a crime, so, that why death penalty should be forbidden. Life in prison would be a better punishment. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some say that killing someone as punishment is
also
a crime that society makes, so,
according to
this
the
death
penalty
should be banned, and
life
in prison would be enough for them,
this
essay will not agree completely
however
the
death
penalty
is a tough punishment because you take the opportunity of living. Some criminals deserve the toughest beating as a response to their crime,
however
,
death
is not one of them, because taking a soul is the same as obtaining the freedom of humans, and it is not a reasonable punishment as well, in the book I read it before 3 months talking about some character who is made crime and he was sentenced to
death
,
this
book shows me how the
death
penalty
is cruel, the character describes that
death
penalty
is unfair, one of these reasons is taking the opportunity to live. So it is understood that
life
has bad people and even people who are ready to commit the cruellest crimes but really send them to loss of
life
is something similar too, and will not stop criminals, the best way to stop crimes is to change people not kill them.
Finally
,
life
in prison would be the best solution I guess, and a regretful person is better than a dead person, he will change himself by seeing the wrong that he did, and he will change someone who is similar, but be honest, in some cases
death
penalty
more logical to happen, for serial killer
for example
, but not for a normal person.
Submitted by ahmedaziz9811 on

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task achievement
Your essay has a clear stance on the topic, but it needs further development and more specific examples to support your points. Consider including more detailed points to explain why life imprisonment is better than the death penalty or why the death penalty might be justified in some cases.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay. Your ideas are somewhat scattered, making it challenging for the reader to follow your arguments. Try to organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each one dedicated to a single main point.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion provide a clear understanding of your essay's purpose and summarize your main points effectively. Your conclusion is present but seems more of a continued discussion rather than a summary.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, you mentioned a book you read but did not provide sufficient detail about its relevance to your argument.
task achievement
You have made a clear attempt to engage with the topic and expressed your stance. This shows you have understood the essay question.
coherence cohesion
Your essay touches on important ethical considerations regarding the death penalty and life imprisonment, indicating critical thinking about the subject.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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