Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These
days
, it is perceived by other people
that we now have many options. In my opinion, I am in total agreement to
Change preposition
with
this
statement.
Firstly
, it should be noted that years ago people
had a
few and limited choices as compared to now. There were modes of transport. Things like aeroplanes, and Correct article usage
apply
train
were few and scarce. Fix the agreement mistake
trains
For example
, people
used ships for long distances where
they Correct word choice
and
would travel
from places like Mozambique to America. Moreso, some would use camels or donkeys Wrong verb form
travelled
while
others would literally walk for days
to a particular place.
Secondly
, in the past
the elderly Add a comma
past,
people
made decisions on literally everything and their word was final. Nowadays, it is not so. Young adults and teenagers are given an opportunity to air out their views about particular things including who will marry them, which
sex they choose to be. whether, female or male. If a teenager is not happy about something, their views are respected. Correct word choice
and which
For instance
, the
old Correct article usage
apply
people
in China, years ago, would decide on
who would marry their daughter. These Change preposition
apply
days
, no one can a decision about that. In addition
, a person can choose if they are gay or a
lesbian. In the past, it was an abomination to do that. Correct article usage
apply
Thus
, it should be noted that people
indeed have too many choices.
In conclusion, nowadays, we, as human beings have quite a number of alternatives. As I am supporting
Wrong verb form
support
this
view totally, it is seen that these days
, that
different modes of transport are widely used as compared to the past. Correct word choice
apply
Furthermore
, people
can choose who to marry or what sex they are. Sometime
ago, elders decided on who would marry their children. Replace the word
Some time
Moreover
, it was an abomination for one to choose either to marry their
same sex.Change the word
the
Submitted by pncubeterera on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task and touches on various relevant points. To improve further, try to develop your main points with more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is good, with clear paragraphs and a logical flow of ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion could be slightly more detailed. For instance, summarizing the main points in the conclusion would provide a stronger end.
supported main points
While the essay is coherent and the ideas are logically organized, work on ensuring that all points are well-supported. Adding more depth and elaboration to each of your supporting points will enhance your argument.
task achievement
Your response is well-focused on the topic and addresses the aspects of having too many choices in various contexts.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the argument well.
logical structure
Paragraphs are well-organized and ideas flow logically from one to the next, making your argument easy to follow.