Some people feel that learning a foreign language is an essentiael component of a child's education. Others feel that leaning a foreign language is often a waste of time that can be better spent on learning about technology and other more vocational subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In the competitive era, it has
became
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become
show examples
difficult for everyone to decide on
particular
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a particular
the particular
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topic of getting
education
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an education
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for their growth. Some
aruge
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argue
that
juvenilles
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juveniles
should learn about foreign
language
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languages
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citing the reason that it is
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a highy
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highy
Correct your spelling
highly
important part of their studies,
while
others assert that
instead
of wasting time on learning
foreign
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a foreign
show examples
tongue , they should work hard on
other technical and more professional curriculum
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another technical and more professional curriculum
other technical and more professional curricula
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, I subscribe to
second
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the second
show examples
viewpoint that technological and other courses for
job
purposes should be worked on by them. On the
one
hand,
one
prominent reason for children to learn a foreign
language
is that they can get knowledge about different cultures present on earth and they will start to explore
further
to get
good
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a good
show examples
command over
particular
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a particular
show examples
language
.
Hence
they broaden their horizons of knowledge about diverse heritages on the globe. To illustrate
above
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the above
show examples
viewpoint, if
one
student wants to grow their understanding in regards to
other country dialect
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another country dialect
other country dialects
show examples
, he or she will start to research other aspects
such
as
their
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the
show examples
traditions and customs associated with that speech as every
language
has some particular words that
doesnot
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does not
have
translation
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a translation
the translation
show examples
in other languages, and are valuable parts of their cultures that
convence
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convince
convene
people to study on them. On the opposite point of view,
career
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the career
show examples
growth of every child
is depends
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depends
show examples
upon technical subjects to grab better
job
opportunities and to grow professionally. A considerable reason for them to work hard on their school syllabus related to
the
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apply
show examples
STEM studies is that in the
cutting edge
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cutting-edge
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era, technology is making advancements every single day and making
hard
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it hard
show examples
for people to understand,
therefore
, getting only technical subjects education since starting years of school can assist them to be
a
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apply
show examples
highly educated over their particular areas of
career
.
Consequently
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
to get jobs in
highly
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a highly
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competitive
job
market.
To conclude
,
although
one
can never deny the importance of learning
foreign
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a foreign
show examples
language
,
however
, to grow
professionaly
Correct your spelling
professionally
by getting
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
job
and
greater
Correct article usage
a greater
show examples
career
grwoth
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growth
is only possible by getting
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
and training
of
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for
show examples
future
career
demanding subjects of studies only not by
lanuage
Correct your spelling
language
,
thus
,
stydents
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students
should focus on working hard to grow technically aspects of life only.
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, ensure all points are logically connected. Use clearer transition words and phrases to enhance the flow.
task achievement
The main ideas are reasonably clear, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward expressions that hinder understanding. Proofread your work to minimize mistakes and make your writing clearer.
task achievement
The examples you've provided are relevant, but they could be more specific. Try to include more concrete examples to illustrate your points better. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which gives a complete picture of your stance on the topic.
task achievement
You have addressed both viewpoints, which shows a comprehensive approach to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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