In some countries today, children are taught from a young age that competition is important and that winning is everything. Is this a positive or a negative development?
In some nations, youngsters are enlightened that
competition
holds Use synonyms
a
significant importance and that reaching the ultimate goals is a victory from the early years of their life. Teaching Remove the article
apply
children
to be competitive might help them succeed in the near future. Use synonyms
However
, I believe that Linking Words
this
notion might lead to young people prioritizing winning over learning pivotal values in life.
Linking Words
Firstly
, Linking Words
competition
has positive impacts on the personal growth of an individual. Teaching Use synonyms
children
the importance of Use synonyms
competition
from an early age can foster a sense of achievement and drive. It encourages young folks to set goals and work hard to achieve them which Use synonyms
consequently
results in academic success that can Linking Words
further
lead to professional development as they grow up. Linking Words
For instance
, let's say the school announces a chess tournament among young people and the school board offers a prize to the winner. Linking Words
Children
will reach the extent of winning that prize at any cost but at the same time, the competitive nature for victory will lead them to thrive in skills Use synonyms
such
as strategic thinking, patience, and resilience which are valuable for individual growth.
Linking Words
Nevertheless
, placing too much emphasis on Linking Words
competition
and winning can lead to significant stress and anxiety in Use synonyms
children
. The expectations of Use synonyms
children
increase as they take Use synonyms
further
steps. In order to reach that expectation, youngsters will exert constant pressure to perform which can result in energy burnout and ultimately lead to a negative impact on their mental well-being. Linking Words
For example
, in competitive chess tournaments, offspring may face intense pressure to win from coaches, parents, or peers, leading to heightened stress and anxiety. Linking Words
This
constant pressure to perform at a high level can detract from their enjoyment of the game and cause mental fatigue, potentially affecting their Linking Words
overall
well-being and enjoyment of chess.
Linking Words
In addition
, teaching Linking Words
children
that winning is everything may encourage unethical behaviour, Use synonyms
such
as cheating or undermining others to get ahead. It could instil a mindset where the end justifies the means, potentially compromising their integrity and moral compass.
In conclusion, In conclusion, Linking Words
while
clash can motivate personal growth and skill evolution, excessive focus on winning may take a toll on Linking Words
children
's well-being and moral development. Balancing the benefits of Use synonyms
competition
with nurturing values like sportsmanship and integrity is crucial in fostering healthy, holistic improvement in young individuals.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Your essay generally provides a clear response to the question and gives a balanced view. However, make sure each paragraph directly relates to the thesis statement to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs for smoother flow. This will enhance the overall readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of phrases, such as in the conclusion where 'In conclusion' is used twice. Use varied language to introduce your final thoughts.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and your thesis is clearly presented.
task achievement
You offer specific and relevant examples that support your points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with distinct paragraphs addressing different aspects of the question.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.