In some countries today, children are taught from a young age that competition is important and that winning is everything. Is this a positive or a negative development?

In some nations, youngsters are enlightened that
competition
holds
a
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significant importance and that reaching the ultimate goals is a victory from the early years of their life. Teaching
children
to be competitive might help them succeed in the near future.
However
, I believe that
this
notion might lead to young people prioritizing winning over learning pivotal values in life.
Firstly
,
competition
has positive impacts on the personal growth of an individual. Teaching
children
the importance of
competition
from an early age can foster a sense of achievement and drive. It encourages young folks to set goals and work hard to achieve them which
consequently
results in academic success that can
further
lead to professional development as they grow up.
For instance
, let's say the school announces a chess tournament among young people and the school board offers a prize to the winner.
Children
will reach the extent of winning that prize at any cost but at the same time, the competitive nature for victory will lead them to thrive in skills
such
as strategic thinking, patience, and resilience which are valuable for individual growth.
Nevertheless
, placing too much emphasis on
competition
and winning can lead to significant stress and anxiety in
children
. The expectations of
children
increase as they take
further
steps. In order to reach that expectation, youngsters will exert constant pressure to perform which can result in energy burnout and ultimately lead to a negative impact on their mental well-being.
For example
, in competitive chess tournaments, offspring may face intense pressure to win from coaches, parents, or peers, leading to heightened stress and anxiety.
This
constant pressure to perform at a high level can detract from their enjoyment of the game and cause mental fatigue, potentially affecting their
overall
well-being and enjoyment of chess.
In addition
, teaching
children
that winning is everything may encourage unethical behaviour,
such
as cheating or undermining others to get ahead. It could instil a mindset where the end justifies the means, potentially compromising their integrity and moral compass. In conclusion, In conclusion,
while
clash can motivate personal growth and skill evolution, excessive focus on winning may take a toll on
children
's well-being and moral development. Balancing the benefits of
competition
with nurturing values like sportsmanship and integrity is crucial in fostering healthy, holistic improvement in young individuals.
Submitted by sandhyathapamagar854 on

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task achievement
Your essay generally provides a clear response to the question and gives a balanced view. However, make sure each paragraph directly relates to the thesis statement to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs for smoother flow. This will enhance the overall readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of phrases, such as in the conclusion where 'In conclusion' is used twice. Use varied language to introduce your final thoughts.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and your thesis is clearly presented.
task achievement
You offer specific and relevant examples that support your points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with distinct paragraphs addressing different aspects of the question.

Word Count

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A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achievement
  • drive
  • personal growth
  • self-esteem
  • resilience
  • perseverance
  • strategic thinking
  • pressure
  • time management
  • mental health
  • well-being
  • burnout
  • teamwork
  • cooperation
  • personal success
  • collaborative efforts
  • rivalry
  • camaraderie
  • unethical behavior
  • cheating
  • integrity
  • moral compass
  • long-term consequences
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
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