Some people feel a country can't be economically progressive and environmentally friendly at the same time. Others disagree with this view. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

Presently, some
people
consider
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
using green products which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
friendly for
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
and animals. In Australia, many customer bring their own
cup
to buy coffee or tea.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
some folks think there is
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
benefit for 
country
's economic and friendly
environment
at the same time,
othes
Correct your spelling
others
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
agee
Correct your spelling
agree
show examples
with. In
this
easay
Correct your spelling
essay
, both views will be discussed and given my opinion. Nowadays,
people
tend to consume a lot of clothes,
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
and energy.
As a result
of
this
, the factories have to produce more goods to meet
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
demand of the customers which means they have to use more materials.
Fashion
Add an article
The fashion
show examples
industry is one
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, if
people
want to purchase more clothes, the factory
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to produce
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
more which leads to
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
of water, cotton
meterial
Correct your spelling
material
and
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
factory's fumes.
Thus
, more
consume
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
of those products will make
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
growth of
Correct article usage
the ecomomy
show examples
ecomomy
Correct your spelling
economy
but less
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
environmentally friendly
due to
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
of materials.
On the other hand
, a
country
can
do
Verb problem
be
show examples
both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
economically progressive and environmentally friendly since some
people
in countries
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are raised
awaraness
Correct your spelling
aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
green products and global warming if they consume too
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
goods.
For instance
, even though, they always
cousume
Correct your spelling
consume
a
cup
of coffee
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
, always bring their own
cup
since they want to reduce a plastic
cup
Fix the agreement mistake
cups
show examples
or paper
cap
Fix the agreement mistake
caps
show examples
which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
hard to recycle.
Hence
, a
country
can improve their
environment
also
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
will grow from other sectors.
Moreover
, I believe that if our community less consume
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
goods that harm
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
animals and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
, it will be good for us in the future
as well as
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
. Imagine, when bring our own cap to buy a
cup
of coffee, normally get a discount which
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
us tend to buy more.
To sum up
,
while
some
people
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
the
country
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
to
chosse
Correct your spelling
choose
only one topic since more
consume
Correct subject-verb agreement
consumes
show examples
less
Correct article usage
a less
show examples
frriendly
Correct your spelling
friendly
environment
, others think can do both topics at the same time, just raise
awaraness
Correct your spelling
awareness
for
people
which I agree the
country
can do two topics together.
Submitted by pasineekhanpakdee on

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grammar
Review the appropriate use of articles and conjunctions. For example, '...consider to using green products which is friendly for environment...' should be '...consider using green products which are friendly for the environment...'.
structure
Ensure that each paragraph expands on one main idea clearly. For instance, the point about awareness in the second point of view could be deeply explored with specific examples and studies.
clarity
Enhance clarity by refining sentences and reducing less relevant details. Clear transitions between ideas would also improve the essay's logical flow.
task achievement
The essay addresses both points of view on the topic, fulfilling the task requirements.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present and provide an overview of the essay’s purpose and summary of the arguments.
use of examples
Examples given, such as bringing a cup for coffee, illustrate the points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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