Children these days spend a lot of time apart from their parents because in many homes, both parents work. What problems can be caused by this? What are some ways to support such children?
With the wide prevalence of both
Use synonyms
parents’
working, it has become common Change noun form
parents
that
young Correct word choice
for
children
Use synonyms
spend
lots of Fix the infinitive
to spend
time
alone at home. Use synonyms
However
, the lack of Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
of
direct connection with Change preposition
for
parents
Use synonyms
impact
Change the verb form
impacts
Use synonyms
children’s
Use synonyms
overall
growth in negative ways. To comprehensively address Linking Words
this
problem, Linking Words
parents
should utilize their Use synonyms
week-end
more effectively by engaging in family Correct your spelling
weekend
time
with their Use synonyms
children
.
Nowadays, young individuals frequently feel a sense of loneliness and solitude as they do not have anyone who Use synonyms
welcome
them after school. Change the verb form
welcomes
Parents
, as the first educators, play a crucial role in Use synonyms
Use synonyms
children’s
Use synonyms
overall
growth; They can teach various fundamental Linking Words
skills
Use synonyms
such
as cooperation, collaboration, and responsibility, Linking Words
provoding
emotional and moral support that profoundly Correct your spelling
providing
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
Use synonyms
children’s
personal growth. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
children
cannot acquire those fundamental Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
due to
the absence of the Linking Words
guidances
Fix the agreement mistake
guidance
in
the majority of their life. Change preposition
for
According to
a survey conducted by Linking Words
Korean
educational institution, Correct article usage
a Korean
children
, whose Use synonyms
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
parents
work, lack Use synonyms
the
sense of empathy and communication Correct article usage
a
skills
, compared Use synonyms
those
spending most of their Change preposition
to those
time
with Use synonyms
Use synonyms
parents
. Correct pronoun usage
their parents
This
result Linking Words
definitly
shows the significance of the presence of Correct your spelling
definitely
parents
for Use synonyms
children
.
To solve Use synonyms
this
problem, Linking Words
parents
need to have more Use synonyms
opportunity
to engage with their Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
children
. They can make the most of their Use synonyms
week-end
by going outside, visiting museums, and exploring their Correct your spelling
weekend
neighborhood
together. Change the spelling
neighbourhood
This
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
children
to stay connected with Use synonyms
Use synonyms
parents
and feel reassurance. Correct pronoun usage
their parents
According to
the same research, it was revealed that having Linking Words
time
regularly and Use synonyms
consistantly
together mitigates Correct your spelling
consistently
Use synonyms
children’s
solitude and boosts connection between Use synonyms
parents
and Use synonyms
children
.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, Linking Words
while
the lack of sufficient Linking Words
time
with Use synonyms
parents
could negatively influence Use synonyms
Use synonyms
children’s
soft Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
such
as cooperation and sympathy, it is possible to alleviate the issue by engaging in family Linking Words
time
frequently.Use synonyms
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task achievement
While you did address the main points of the prompt, it would be beneficial to provide more specific examples or evidence to back up your points. This would strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is generally good, but the introduction could be more effective if it provided a clearer overview of the issues and solutions. This will set a stronger foundation for your essay.
general
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'week-end' instead of 'weekend' and 'provoding' instead of 'providing.' These small errors can slightly detract from the overall quality of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Include a more defined conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces the importance of addressing this issue. This can help to leave a lasting impression on the reader.
task achievement
Your essay clearly identifies the issues caused by parents spending less time with their children and offers practical solutions to this problem.
task achievement
The use of a specific survey from a Korean educational institution adds credibility to your argument and demonstrates your ability to incorporate external data.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear logical structure with distinct paragraphs addressing the problems and solutions, which helps to maintain coherence and cohesion.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...