IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The rise of convenience foods has helped people keep up with the speed of the modern life. What are the advantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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While
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 life is turning kind of speedy these days and
time
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 passes briskly, ready-to-eat
meals
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 have shown as a magical solution for workers and others who don'
t
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 have
time
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 to cook their
food
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.
However
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, others think that
this
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 trend has some bad consequences.
This
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 essay will refer to some studies to highlight the advantages and disadvantages of packaged ready
foods
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. On the one hand,
this
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 type of
food
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 saves
time
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 and effort for many, as most workers start their jobs from the early morning until sunset, and others have double jobs on the same day;
thus
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, feeding is a priority for them, and packaged ready
foods
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 have become a saviour for them.
In addition
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, a statistical study published at Harvard University in 2022 illustrated that 80% of employees who eat ready-to-eat
meals
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 at work have more work efficiency than those who don'
t
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 eat until they return home because they don'
t
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 have
time
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 to cook.
On the other hand
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, convenience
foods
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 may have less nutritional value than fresh-cooked
meals
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. The process of making these types of
food
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 can affect the composition of these ingredients,
as well as
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 adding some preservatives which can cause long-term effects on human health. In that case, using
such
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 kinds of
food
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 may be just a process of feeding and satisfying hunger rather than benefiting from nutrients.
Furthermore
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, advanced types of ready
meals
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 with higher nutritional values will be at higher prices, which may cause financial obstacles for workers, and they might not buy them because of their high cost.
Additionally
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, a study published at Heuston University demonstrated that people who depend on packaged-ready
foods
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 are at higher risk for developing obesity and GI diseases
such
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 as colon problems than those who cook their own
meals
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.
To conclude
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, ready-to-eat
meals
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 may be a precious saviour for employees and those who don'
t
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 have
time
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, but they can
also
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 be dangerous for long-term use. Cooking from
time
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 to
time
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 with the use of those types of
food
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 would be recommended to make a balance between both health and
time
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-effort efficiency.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next. This will make your essay flow better for the reader.
task achievement
Avoid over-generalizing or using absolute terms such as 'magical solution,' and try to use more academic language.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly sets out the topic and outlines the main points that will be discussed.
relevant specific examples
Good use of specific studies and statistics to support your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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