You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

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In modern society, there are different types of
sports
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due to
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the growing interests of people. Some people believe that playing
team
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sports
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can give us significant abilities in our
life
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lives
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more than individual
sports
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. I endorse
this
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view owing to a number of reasons that will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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with, it offers some golden opportunities to the public when they do group
sports
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such
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as soccer, baseball and badminton rather than exercising alone
such
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as going to the gym . These kinds of
team
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activities will be able to contribute to having tremendous motivation, and they do not give up on acquiring it even if they encounter a crisis like a minor injury and slump.
This
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is because they are given various help or aids with each other as a member of the
team
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.
Therefore
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, it can lead to affinity and bonds between them. On top of that, one positive thing is that they can learn essential things like cooperation and interpersonal skills from others by taking part in group
sports
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competitions.
Although
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they are talented, which is high capacity in
this
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area, they can not win in the
sports
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game if they do not try to provide a number of support to their
team
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.
Accordingly
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, through
this
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process, they are taught how to solve these tasks that require their lives by talking to their group members, and they can deal with diverse conflict situations themselves in everyday life between humans as they become adults.
To sum up
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, I support these ideas that it has a lot of merits that they could learn necessary things
such
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as they can maintain good relationships between people
while
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doing exercise with others.
As a result
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, they might improve both their physical and mental health.
Submitted by komi4144 on

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task achievement
Your essay does a good job addressing the task, but you should consider offering more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your argument generally makes sense, though the transitions between some ideas could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices and connectors would help.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, but try to summarize your main points more explicitly in the conclusion.
general
Review your grammar and sentence structure to enhance clarity. Some sentences are a bit awkward or unclear, and more precise wording could improve comprehension.
task achievement
Your essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You always include a relevant introduction and conclusion section in your essay, framing your arguments well.
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