IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree?

I completely agree that in modern
society
Punctuation problem
society,
show examples
 people are faced with too many choices, whether in daily life, education, or careers.
While
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 variety can be positive, the overwhelming number of
options
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 often creates confusion and stress rather than freedom.
Firstly
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, in consumer markets, the range of products has expanded to the point of excess. Supermarkets,
for example
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, offer dozens of brands for basic items like bread, milk, or toothpaste.
Instead
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 of making shopping easier,
this
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 overload forces customers to spend more time deciding, often leaving them dissatisfied with their
choice
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. Psychologists call
this
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 the “paradox of
choice
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,” where too many
options
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 actually reduce happiness.
Secondly
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, education and career paths have
also
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 multiplied. Students today can choose from thousands of university programs or online courses.
While
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 opportunities are valuable, the abundance of
options
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 makes decision-making extremely difficult, especially for young people who fear making the wrong
choice
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.
This
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 pressure can lead to anxiety and regret rather than empowerment.
Finally
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, even entertainment has become overwhelming. With countless streaming platforms, movies, and social media apps, people often waste hours deciding what to watch
instead
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 of enjoying content.
This
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 highlights how
choice
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 overload can reduce efficiency and satisfaction in daily life. In conclusion, I strongly agree that modern society gives us too many choices.
Instead
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 of providing freedom, the endless
options
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 often confuse individuals, waste time, and create unnecessary stress. Sometimes, fewer choices would allow for greater clarity and happiness.

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Task response
Be clear on your view in the first line. Say why you agree in the opening sentence and restate it in the end.
Task response
Give more proof or real life examples to back your point. Do not rely only on general talk.
Coherence
Put one strong idea in each paragraph and add a couple of notes that link to the idea.
Coherence
Use simple words and short links. Words like and, also, so, but help the flow.
Task response
Clear view is stated most of the time.
Coherence
The essay has a good shape with an intro, body, and conclusion.
Content
Each paragraph has a small idea and a example.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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