You have written an article for a magazine about the job that you do. Write a letter to your manager and ask for his/her comments regarding the article, which will be published in a famous magazine next month. In this letter, you should say Explain why you have written this article. Give a short description of what you have written. Specify what particular things you want him/her to comment on.
Dear Mr. Smith,
I am writing
this
letter to get your valuable opinion about the article written by me regarding my job, which is going to be published in an IT journal next month.
To commence with, this
is a monthly magazine in which different kinds of job opportunities are discussed. Actually, I met my best friend recently who is an editor in this
journal. So, he asked me some questions about my field and other career opportunities in my industry. He found it interesting for the next month's edition and suggested that I should write an essay about it. Apart from that, this
magazine is very popular and this
article acts as an advertisement for our company. That is
the reason, I have decided to write an essay.
Furthermore
, I have written about the qualification and experience requirements for different levels of designations. Also
, I discussed salaries, company policies regarding promotions and various ways to join this
industry. Therefore
, I would be most grateful if you could just go through my article and see if I have missed something important or any other mistake in it.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,
Tajinder SinghSubmitted by tajinder.panag on
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coherence cohesion
While your letter has a clear purpose and is well-structured, consider using a wider variety of linking words and expressions to improve flow between the paragraphs and sentences, which would enhance the logical structure even further.
task achievement
You've managed to complete the task by addressing all parts of the prompt effectively. However, ensuring that your article summary offers more specific examples or details could improve clarity and make your request for comments more targeted.
coherence cohesion
Your greeting and closing are appropriately formal which is good for the context of writing to a manager. To perfect your letter, ensure that every paragraph supports a single idea more distinctly by possibly expanding on each idea a bit more, thereby enhancing the reader's understanding.
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