You have written an article for a magazine about the job that you do. Write a letter to your manager and ask for his/her comments regarding the article, which will be published in a famous magazine next month. In this letter, you should say Explain why you have written this article. Give a short description of what you have written. Specify what particular things you want him/her to comment on.

#article #magazine #job #manager #comments #month #description

Dear Mr. Smith, I am writing

this

letter to get your valuable opinion about the article written by me regarding my job, which is going to be published in an IT journal next month. To commence with,

this

is a monthly magazine in which different kinds of job opportunities are discussed. Actually, I met my best friend recently who is an editor in

this

journal. So, he asked me some questions about my field and other career opportunities in my industry. He found it interesting for the next month's edition and suggested that I should write an essay about it. Apart from that,

this

magazine is very popular and

this

article acts as an advertisement for our company.

That is

the reason, I have decided to write an essay.

Furthermore

, I have written about the qualification and experience requirements for different levels of designations.

Also

, I discussed salaries, company policies regarding promotions and various ways to join

this

industry.

Therefore

, I would be most grateful if you could just go through my article and see if I have missed something important or any other mistake in it. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Tajinder Singh

Submitted by tajinder.panag on Mon Feb 12 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

While your letter has a clear purpose and is well-structured, consider using a wider variety of linking words and expressions to improve flow between the paragraphs and sentences, which would enhance the logical structure even further.

task achievement

You've managed to complete the task by addressing all parts of the prompt effectively. However, ensuring that your article summary offers more specific examples or details could improve clarity and make your request for comments more targeted.

coherence cohesion

Your greeting and closing are appropriately formal which is good for the context of writing to a manager. To perfect your letter, ensure that every paragraph supports a single idea more distinctly by possibly expanding on each idea a bit more, thereby enhancing the reader's understanding.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

198 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?
Nowadays,there are many discussions about waste management,there is a common claim that the level of household waste recycling is insufficient.it is argued by some that effective way to raise recycling rates is for governments to enforce it through the law.While I admit that recycling legalization is not enough.Although,In my opinion more factors should be considered for increase the recycling wastes from homes, i totally agree with legalization of recycling wastes and in this essay I will support my view.
<4
band
The images below explain the process of how pollutants from modern life become acid rain that in turn pollutes the environment and the food chain.
The picture indicates the main cycle of pollutants from contemporary life becoming acid rain which pollutes the environment and the food chain afterwards.
7.5
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Students have different opinions about whether to learn new subjects in addition to university subjects or just stick to university subjects and dedicate all their time to them. While focusing on university subjects is of great importance, I personally believe that learning new skills could be really beneficial for students.
5
band
some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time spent on laerning facts and not enugh on learning practical skills. do you agree or disagree?
A highly controversial issue today relates to whether the students should consume extensive time on theoretical learning or on hands-on experience. There is no denying the fact that physical skill is supremacy and proves to be advantageous in numerous aspects of life also enables tutees to get high paid employment. I firmly agree and withstand the given notion. This essay will further elaborate on my visions in the forthcoming paragraphs.
5.5
band
Some people think that a good diet and exercise are not necessary for a healthy and long life .To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The increasing number of people with overweight problems is causing pressure to health care system which is dealing with health concerns because of overweight. It is believed that the most efficient, quick fix for this issue is to insert more physical action in school schedule.

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

The images below explain the process of how pollutants from modern life become acid rain that in turn pollutes the environment and the food chain.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time spent on laerning facts and not enugh on learning practical skills. do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that a good diet and exercise are not necessary for a healthy and long life .To what extent do you agree or disagree?