In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In some countries,

people

Use synonyms

who live in villages migrate to

cities

Use synonyms

, so the number of

people

Use synonyms

in the

countryside

Use synonyms

decreased

Wrong verb form

decreases

show examples

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both views and my opinion

at the end

Linking Words

. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand, there are many reasons why

people

Use synonyms

move to

cities

Use synonyms

. First of all,

cities

Use synonyms

had more jobs and a high salary, so everyone went to town

because

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

Linking Words

reason.

Secondly

Linking Words

, better education, parents who have kids want their children

learn

Add the particle

to learn

show examples

the best lessons and subjects.

For example

Linking Words

, nowadays, some

people

Use synonyms

go to privet school to study hard and learn about other cultures. It is

also

Linking Words

important to highlight that, in towns, the public services are good in comparison with the

countryside

Use synonyms

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

people

Use synonyms

need modern hospitals to care

about

Change preposition

for

show examples

themselves, and they find them in the

cities

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, when the

people

Use synonyms

move to the town, bad effects will

happened

Change the verb form

happen

show examples

. One of them,

the

Add a missing verb

is the

show examples

cities

Use synonyms

will be more crowded. Because a lot of

people

Use synonyms

move to the city

instead

Linking Words

of staying in the

countryside

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, pollution will

be increase

Change the verb form

be increased

be increasing

show examples

in towns. Pollution has many

type

Change to a plural noun

types

show examples

such

Linking Words

as noise pollution, which is one of the most negative effects. More importantly, the village will be deserted if everyone moves to the city.

To sum up

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

when the rural

people

Use synonyms

are moving to

cities

Use synonyms

, it has good and bad effects,

also

Linking Words

the population in

Use synonyms

countryside

Correct article usage

the countryside

show examples

fall

Correct subject-verb agreement

falls

show examples

. In my opinion, I think

that is

Linking Words

a positive development

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

people

Use synonyms

want to have jobs and study.

Submitted by joudaalhammadi on Sat Jul 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Consider refining your thesis statement to clearly present your opinion, rather than stating you'll discuss both views. This aligns better with the task requirements.

coherence and cohesion

Avoid repetition of the same points. For example, mentioning that cities offer better education and then discussing private schools can be combined into one point without redundancy.

task response

Increase the range of vocabulary and ensure to use accurate terms (e.g., 'private' instead of 'privet'). This will enhance your essay's clarity and precision.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly conveys a single idea. Merging or splitting paragraphs as necessary can help improve flow and coherence.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task response

You provided relevant examples to support your points, which makes your arguments more convincing.

conclusion

The conclusion summarizes your points and states your opinion clearly, aligning with the initial argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

economic opportunities
career prospects
quality of life
cultural exchange
economic stagnation
urban overcrowding
infrastructure
environmental degradation
pollution
natural habitats
migration
superior education and healthcare services
diverse and vibrant cultural landscape
local services
urban slums
pressure on infrastructure

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some individuals posit that high school students must work for free during the school year for the sake of the community. Personally, I tend to believe that charity activities might be beneficial for students, as they will amass new knowledge and experience.
5.5
band
Throughout history, people have dreamed to live in a perfect society while they haven't agreed how what the ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? What can people do to achieve an ideal society?
From the ancient period , people dreamed of living in a perfect society without knowing the fact what how is our ideal society would look like . I think the most important element of a perfect society would be fair treatment regardless of age , gender and caste . People should eliminate discrimination by giving each person equal opportunity and respect to each other.
4
band
Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
I agree that all countries have military service for men. In my country, there is military account for all dude and I think that this is a good thing. It teaches fellow many new things and new skills that are important for life. Also for young people, it is fun doing military account. I made many friends in my country with military office. It is good for countries to have military and military needs folk. If military business is in the country then the army would have people and also young people would learn new teachers. On the other hand, I do not agree with military supply for women. Nowadays there are some women in the military and this is not a problem for them. but I think that not all women want to go in the military and not all person are strong for the military. Maybe female have other works or can stay at home. I think that this is chosen for female and compulsory military service is not a good thing. Nowadays there are problems in many countries with behaviour of young p...
4.5
band
People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our lives generally more comfortable, but many traditional values and customs have been lost and this is a pity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In these current days, many people spend the majority of their time to earn money for spending more on many things. While most traditional values and customs are neglect even have been lost, this trend has made human life more comfortable. In my point of view, I totally agree since human lives should improve to be better comparing yesterday and the several reasons will be described in this essay.
5
band
You want to sell your bicycle. Your friend has told you that his cousin might like to buy it from you. Write a letter to your friend’s cousin. In your letter explain why you are selling the bicycle describe the bicycle and how much it will cost suggest a date when your friend’s cousin can come and see the bicycle
I am writing this letter to inform you that I want to sell my bicycle.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing

Your opinion

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Throughout history, people have dreamed to live in a perfect society while they haven't agreed how what the ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? What can people do to achieve an ideal society?

People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our lives generally more comfortable, but many traditional values and customs have been lost and this is a pity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?