In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

Global population is increasing trend all over the world
due to
the higher birth rate and relocation being a normal phenomenon.
However
, the influx of people from rural
areas
to the cities has its pros and cons.
This
essay will analyse
this
topic from both points of view and present my opinion. It is true that more people are moving in from the countryside to look for better opportunities. Nowadays, many young generations move to bigger cities to look for higher paying jobs, leaving
lesser
Correct article usage
a lesser
show examples
workforce to work in the agricultural sector in the countryside.
Besides
,
this
would
also
contribute to pollution with the growing number of vehicles
such
as in India, where the air quality in metropolitan is poor
in addition
to the stress from the noise pollution from the vehicles honking.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
these cons are valid, they fail to consider the positive impact it can impart to the nation. One of the main positive impacts of
this
development is that it would boost the economy of a country. When more citizens move into the urban
areas
, it would create a concentrated market for foreign investors.
For in
Change preposition
In
show examples
India, Bangalore became the IT hub and service provider in the Asian region.
Besides
, the government will be forced to flow in money to build some facilities and transportation to develop rural
areas
in order to retain manpower for other needed sectors
such
as agriculture.
Therefore
,
this
would
further
contribute to the improvement of a country in every area of development. In conclusion, the movement of people from rural
areas
may cause overcrowding and pollution but it
also
has enormous
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
benefits to the country.
Therefore
, I strongly agree that
this
changes
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
more positive impact than negativity.
Submitted by coke_sars on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that all sentences logically flow from one to the next. For example, add linking words or phrases where necessary.
task achievement
Work on expanding your supporting points with clearer examples and more detailed explanations. For instance, explain how the economy is boosted and why rural areas will also develop as a result.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
The main points supporting both sides of the argument are relevant and address the topic directly.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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