It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledgs
Risks are essential for
successful
life. Add an article
a successful
While
one group of people believe it is the best idea having
risky situations in either professional or personal lifestyle, Change the verb form
to have
other
think it is Fix the agreement mistake
others
usless
activities which lead to dramatic circumstances. I personally support those who are Correct your spelling
useless
agains
Correct your spelling
against
Correct article usage
the potantional
potantional
drawbacks of it and I am going to Correct your spelling
potential
explane
the reasons.
In fact of the matter, Correct your spelling
explain
although
I believe that avoiding risks is the best option for human
Add an article
a human
the human
being
, there are advantages Fix the agreement mistake
beings
such
as financial accompleshments
they can achieve by risky decisions.
Correct your spelling
accomplishments
accomplishment
For instance
, I remeber
the case when my friend Andrey invested in his business and bought Correct your spelling
remember
brand new
construction Add a hyphen
brand-new
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
due to
he
increased work Correct pronoun usage
his
capasity
. The Correct your spelling
capacity
faser
a company works, the higher Correct your spelling
faster
income
. He has diminished a number of stuff Correct pronoun usage
its income
as well as
he has got economical
prosperity.
Replace the word
economic
On the other hand
, It is understandable that majority
Correct article usage
the majority
prefer
have stable job Add the particle
prefer to
possition
or unrisky decisions Correct your spelling
positions
becase
it Correct your spelling
because
does
not worth it. Verb problem
is
Safty
and security are Correct your spelling
Safety
crutial
elements of Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
psycological
and physical well-being. Correct your spelling
psychological
For example
, one individual had worked for the high-voltage power trancmission
line service company before he passed away from an electrocution Correct your spelling
transmission
accedent
. Even though the employer has Correct your spelling
accident
a
great insurance and Remove the article
apply
provide
Change the verb form
provides
certain
amount of money, there is nothing more important than Change the article
a certain
family
Correct article usage
a family
mamber’s
life.
Correct your spelling
member’s
members
To conclude
, as far as I am concerned, the main disadvantage is fatal risks and socity
Correct your spelling
society
have
to Correct subject-verb agreement
has
fine
ways to Correct your spelling
find
aviod
them. There Correct your spelling
avoid
no
much more Verb problem
is not
importent
on Earth Correct your spelling
important
except
people’s Change preposition
than
lifes
and we must appreciate it as much as we can.Correct your spelling
lives
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task achievement
Your essay contains an introduction and conclusion, and it’s clear what your position is. However, make sure you mention both the advantages and disadvantages more explicitly to make your argument more balanced.
coherence cohesion
Focus on improving your spelling and grammar to ensure that your ideas are communicated more clearly. Mistakes like 'accompleshments' instead of 'accomplishments' and 'remeber' instead of 'remember' detract from the overall clarity. Try using spell-check tools and proofreading your work.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured, some points lack sufficient development. For example, your example about Andrey could be more detailed to show how taking risks led to his financial accomplishments.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is generally clear and logical, with distinct paragraphs for introduction, main body, and conclusion.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your main points, which helps in making your essay more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.