It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledgs

#people #risks #lives #knowledgs

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Risks are essential for

successful

Add an article

a successful

show examples

life.

While

one group of people believe it is the best idea

having

Change the verb form

to have

show examples

risky situations in either professional or personal lifestyle,

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

think it is

usless

Correct your spelling

useless

activities which lead to dramatic circumstances. I personally support those who are

agains

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against

Correct article usage

the potantional

show examples

potantional

Correct your spelling

potential

drawbacks of it and I am going to

explane

Correct your spelling

explain

the reasons. In fact of the matter,

although

I believe that avoiding risks is the best option for

human

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a human

the human

show examples

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

, there are advantages

such

as financial

accompleshments

Correct your spelling

accomplishments

accomplishment

they can achieve by risky decisions.

For instance

, I

remeber

Correct your spelling

remember

the case when my friend Andrey invested in his business and bought

brand new

Add a hyphen

brand-new

show examples

construction

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

due to

Correct pronoun usage

his

show examples

increased work

capasity

Correct your spelling

capacity

. The

faser

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faster

a company works, the higher

income

Correct pronoun usage

its income

show examples

. He has diminished a number of stuff

as well as

he has got

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

prosperity.

On the other hand

, It is understandable that

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

prefer

Add the particle

prefer to

show examples

have stable job

possition

Correct your spelling

positions

or unrisky decisions

becase

Correct your spelling

because

does

Verb problem

show examples

not worth it.

Safty

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Safety

show examples

and security are

crutial

Correct your spelling

crucial

critical

elements of

psycological

Correct your spelling

psychological

and physical well-being.

For example

, one individual had worked for the high-voltage power

trancmission

Correct your spelling

transmission

line service company before he passed away from an electrocution

accedent

Correct your spelling

accident

. Even though the employer has

Remove the article

apply

show examples

great insurance and

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

certain

Change the article

a certain

show examples

amount of money, there is nothing more important than

family

Correct article usage

a family

show examples

mamber’s

Correct your spelling

member’s

members

life.

To conclude

, as far as I am concerned, the main disadvantage is fatal risks and

socity

Correct your spelling

society

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

fine

Correct your spelling

find

show examples

ways to

aviod

Correct your spelling

avoid

them. There

Verb problem

is not

show examples

much more

importent

Correct your spelling

important

on Earth

except

Change preposition

than

show examples

people’s

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

and we must appreciate it as much as we can.

Submitted by saladinrostislav on Sat Jul 20 2024

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task achievement

Your essay contains an introduction and conclusion, and it’s clear what your position is. However, make sure you mention both the advantages and disadvantages more explicitly to make your argument more balanced.

coherence cohesion

Focus on improving your spelling and grammar to ensure that your ideas are communicated more clearly. Mistakes like 'accompleshments' instead of 'accomplishments' and 'remeber' instead of 'remember' detract from the overall clarity. Try using spell-check tools and proofreading your work.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is logically structured, some points lack sufficient development. For example, your example about Andrey could be more detailed to show how taking risks led to his financial accomplishments.

coherence cohesion

The structure of your essay is generally clear and logical, with distinct paragraphs for introduction, main body, and conclusion.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples to support your main points, which helps in making your essay more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

258 words

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledgs

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Children today are too dependent on computers and electronics entertainment it would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree?

More and more people are stressed today than ever before. What are the causes of this stress? Can you suggest some possible solutions?

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of the modern society. Some people think that we much return to the older and more traditional of respect for the family and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?