IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many countries are experiencing serious problems with their environment, with pollution of their land, water and air. What are these problems and how might they be reduced?

#countries #environment #pollution #land #water #air
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, some countries suffer from contamination in multiple aspects,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Correct article usage
the environments
show examples
environments
Fix the agreement mistake
environment
show examples
, water, and air.
Pollution
Use synonyms
 is defined as a negative and harmful influence that occurs in our nature,
usually
Add a comma
usually,
show examples
 it is caused by human beings,
according to
Linking Words
 some scholars.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the consequences and solutions of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon. Not only does
pollution
Use synonyms
 result in multiple dire diseases, but it
also
Linking Words
 impacts negatively on the
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
. The world has recently experienced dangerous viruses,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 COVID-19 which consumed severely the fortunes of the world in the
last
Linking Words
 decade. Agriculture, one of the most resources which most of the people depend on heavily, is
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
 by contamination.
As a result
Linking Words
, the productivity of
this
Linking Words
 sector has seen a substantial decrease. If the water, that all the lives of creatures on the earth rely on, is contaminated,
this
Linking Words
 absolutely will lead to devastation. Governments must grasp the hazard of the situation and ramp up their effort to clamp down on the widespread
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue. Taking
this
Linking Words
 into account, some scholars claim that the spread of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
Use synonyms
 stems from factories. So, these factories should be moved away from the residential areas. The isolation of these factories and their
waist
Correct your spelling
waste
show examples
 will reduce the problems of contamination since it is the main cause
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 it. Another solution is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
following safety instructions in terms of dealing with hazardous materials
that
Linking Words
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 used in several facilities,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 hospitals or labs. In conclusion, people should realize the menace of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task response, include more specific examples and evidence to support your points, such as statistical data or case studies. Making your arguments more concrete will help achieve a higher score in this criterion.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, work on the logical structure of your essay. Ensure each paragraph logically follows the previous one, and use more transition words to create smoother flow between ideas. This will help in forming a more cohesive essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and a concise conclusion, which helps structure your response well.
task achievement
The main points are generally well supported, and the essay addresses the question asked, touching upon both the problems and solutions related to pollution.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ecosystem
  • sustainable
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • emissions
  • deforestation
  • conservation
  • biodiversity
  • regulatory standards
  • composting
  • urban sprawl
  • green technologies
  • environmental degradation
  • waste management
  • pollutants
  • non-biodegradable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: