Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many
researchs
Correct your spelling
researchers
research
researches
found that
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
teenagers are
prefering
Correct your spelling
preferring
online friendships rather than
real-life
Correct your spelling
real life
show examples
. The main
problem
this
causes is isolating individuals from their
society
and the most valuable solution for
this
is
inovlving
Correct your spelling
involving
them to
society
's activities. The principal
problem
associated with having friends online more than meeting one another in person is making a gap between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers and their real lives. because they will
stay
Verb problem
spend
show examples
most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
time on the internet
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
make relationships in their hometown. the result of
this
is they will grow up with
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of communication skills, and a low
self-esteam
Correct your spelling
self-esteem
lower, so
this
will make them separate from their real life.
For example
, a recent study found that parents usually when they bring up their children ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
allow them to use the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
most of the time. and
this
had
effect
Add an article
an effect
show examples
on their social skills and made them isolated from their
society
. To tackle
this
problem
the government should launch a publicity campaign in the media and schools to educate people about the dangers of
this
problem
. Because if
this
continoues
Correct your spelling
continues
,
this
will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
their social lives and their
society
will separate in the future. An awareness campaign could shed some light on
this
difficult situation and allow people to be open and honest about it. In conclusion, teenagers like socialising on the internet more than spend time meeting one another in
real-life
Correct your spelling
real life
show examples
. the major issue with
this
problem
is isolating individuals from their environment, and to solve
this
issue the government has to aware people
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
the dangers of it.
Submitted by saja.alotaibi on

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grammar
There were a few grammatical errors and typos in your essay, such as 'researchs' instead of 'research,' 'nowdays' instead of 'nowadays,' and 'esteem lower' instead of 'self-esteem lower.' These could be improved by thoroughly proofreading your work or using grammar-checking tools.
coherence
The second paragraph lacks a bit of coherence in expressing the cause and effect relationship between online friendships and social skills. Try to make the connection more explicit.
examples
Your essay could benefit from more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mentioning particular types of societal activities that teens could get involved in would strengthen your argument.
introduction
Your introduction is clear and sets up the essay nicely by stating the problem and proposing a broad solution.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and offers a concrete solution to the issue discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • socialization
  • curate
  • engaging
  • social anxiety
  • digital detox
  • tech-free zones
  • mentorship programs
  • real-world interactions
  • face-to-face settings
  • in-person participation
  • promote
  • deter
  • foster
  • appeal
  • perspectives
  • detox challenges
  • community service
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