Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Many
researchs
found that Correct your spelling
researchers
research
researches
nowdays
teenagers are Correct the word
nowadays
prefering
online friendships rather than Correct your spelling
preferring
real-life
. The main Correct your spelling
real life
problem
this
causes is isolating individuals from their society
and the most valuable solution for this
is inovlving
them to Correct your spelling
involving
society
's activities.
The principal problem
associated with having friends online more than meeting one another in person is making a gap between the
teenagers and their real lives. because they will Correct article usage
apply
stay
most of Verb problem
spend
the
time on the internet Change the word
their
than
make relationships in their hometown. the result of Rephrase
rather than
this
is they will grow up with lack
of communication skills, and a lowCorrect article usage
a lack
self-esteam
lower, so Correct your spelling
self-esteem
this
will make them separate from their real life. For example
, a recent study found that parents usually when they bring up their children , they
allow them to use the Correct pronoun usage
apply
internet
most of the time. and Capitalize word
Internet
this
had effect
on their social skills and made them isolated from their Add an article
an effect
society
.
To tackle this
problem
the government should launch a publicity campaign in the media and schools to educate people about the dangers of this
problem
. Because if this
continoues
, Correct your spelling
continues
this
will effect
their social lives and their Correct your spelling
affect
society
will separate in the future. An awareness campaign could shed some light on this
difficult situation and allow people to be open and honest about it.
In conclusion, teenagers like socialising on the internet more than spend time meeting one another in real-life
. the major issue with Correct your spelling
real life
this
problem
is isolating individuals from their environment, and to solve this
issue the government has to aware people about
the dangers of it.Change preposition
of
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grammar
There were a few grammatical errors and typos in your essay, such as 'researchs' instead of 'research,' 'nowdays' instead of 'nowadays,' and 'esteem lower' instead of 'self-esteem lower.' These could be improved by thoroughly proofreading your work or using grammar-checking tools.
coherence
The second paragraph lacks a bit of coherence in expressing the cause and effect relationship between online friendships and social skills. Try to make the connection more explicit.
examples
Your essay could benefit from more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mentioning particular types of societal activities that teens could get involved in would strengthen your argument.
introduction
Your introduction is clear and sets up the essay nicely by stating the problem and proposing a broad solution.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and offers a concrete solution to the issue discussed.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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