The most important aim of science ought to be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Throughout the past few decades,
science
and its related aspects have been developing continuously, producing more benefits for the human race than ever before. I strongly agree that the outcome delivered by each research and development project should ultimately serve the
people
in terms of improving their health and finances.
To begin
with, nowadays, sophisticated medical equipment has been invented to diagnose more life-threatening diseases like cancers, and treat them successfully.
As a result
of that,
people
all around the world are having the benefits from them that they never knew before.
For instance
, a world-leading medical instrument manufacturer has invented a state-of-the-art algorithm that can be plugged into existing treatment devices called a proton accelerator and enhanced its
overall
capability in identifying cancers at their early stage.
In addition
, the effectiveness of drugs for certain diseases has
also
been enhanced for the sake of
science
.
Therefore
, it is evident that modern
science
has contributed its positive inventions to improve our lives.
Secondly
, the financial situation attached to almost everyone in
this
world is being improved
as a result
of increased efficiency of production processes and features coming with consuming items.
This
trend has been developed by nothing but the contribution of modern
science
and technology in manufacturing processes.
For example
, in the present days, the time to manufacture a motor vehicle is much lower than in the early days.
Moreover
, because contemporary consumable items are developed with competitive features, opportunities are abundant in the local and international markets. In conclusion, the role of modern
science
could have devoted its contribution to boosting the financial condition of
people
.
Finally
, because of its ultimate role in enhancing the effect of health and finances
that is
in turn related to
people
's lives directly,
science
and its related developments must be used in the aforementioned two areas to improve the lives of
people
.
Submitted by swijayakoon on

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task achievement
You have effectively addressed the task by stating your agreement clearly and providing strong points to support your view. To enhance task achievement, consider incorporating a brief counterargument to show deeper analysis.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining coherence. One way to elevate cohesion further is by refining your transitions and tying your paragraphs even more tightly to your thesis.
task achievement
The essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, supported by relevant and specific examples, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is evident throughout the essay, with each paragraph contributing effectively to your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are both present and well-articulated, reinforcing your main argument effectively.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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