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Band 7

The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013.

The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013.
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This
Linking Words
 bar chart indicates the
sales
Use synonyms
 numbers of cell phones based on the five different brands globally from the years of 2009, 2011 and 2013.
Overall
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, Nokia
took
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest number of
sales
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 ZTE sold the lowest number of units over the period shown.
Also
Linking Words
, it is clear
while
Linking Words
 there were increasing patterns in Samsung and Apple, there were decreasing trends in Nokia and LG. ZTE showed slow
sales
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 movement over the whole period. It is noticeable that the mobile phone
sales
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 of Samsung remarkably increased from 250
million
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 in 2009 and it reached the highest point at 250
million
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 in 2013. There was a similar increasing pattern in Apple
although
Linking Words
 the total number was much lower compared to Samsung. Apple started from 20
million
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 and it soared sharply to over 150
million
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 in the year of 2013.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
aNokia
Correct your spelling
a Nokia
Nokia
 was the world’s top provider in the years 2009 and 2011, their
sales
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 plummeted significantly to 250
million
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 in 2013.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, LG
also
Linking Words
 declined slowly from 120
million
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 to 70
million
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 in 2013.
Although
Linking Words
 ZTE had the least
sales
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, it slightly went up over the period, but
this
Linking Words
 was a minor change.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, although".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slow" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global sales
  • Mobile phone brands
  • Market share
  • Trends
  • Growth
  • Decline
  • Technological advancements
  • Innovation
  • Consumer preferences
  • Demographics
  • Market dominance
  • Brand loyalty
  • Comparative analysis
  • Sales figures
  • Data interpretation
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