Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some believed that male and female
students
should study on
Change preposition
in
same
Correct article usage
the same
schools
while
other
suggested they should learn in mono Fix the agreement mistake
others
gender
environment. In this
essay, I will explain both side
of view and I personally support Change to a plural noun
sides
study
should be separate Correct word choice
that study
base
on Replace the word
based
gender
differences.
On one hand, schools
with boys and girls students
may benefit from learning social skills
. Apart from academic training, there are important for students
to gain knowledge on other subjects such
as communication skills
that are essential on
living in modern society. Change preposition
for
As a result
, students
may have more opportunities to interact with different genders and recognise which behaviours are unacceptable to the opposite gender
such
as potential harassment speech. It is more suitable to educate students
on mental abilities such
as sympathy. For
this
reason, children should attend mixed schools
, as it helps them learn essential social skills
.
On the other hand
, students
who study in mono
Correct word choice
apply
gender
schools
may have better academic performance. A statistic suggests that there are different favourable and strengths in subjects between the two genders. For example
, Boys may on interested on
science and technology Change preposition
in
while
girls may more attracted
to history and language. The school Change the verb form
be attracted
attract
have
single genders may allow to focus the resources on certain subjects that Wrong verb form
having
students
more
interested Add a missing verb
are more
to
. It can provide a better quality of education to Change preposition
in
students
. However
,
To summarize, although
single-sex school
may provide Fix the agreement mistake
schools
advantage
in better quality of education, I believe that co-education is much better for girls and boys as they will learn essential social Add an article
an advantage
skills
in school.Submitted by andy1031227 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to enhance readability and coherence. For example, the sentence "Some believed that male and female students should study on same schools..." should be corrected to "Some believe that male and female students should study in the same schools..."
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support your points. This will help in achieving a higher score in task achievement. For example, include specific studies or statistics that back up your claims about performance differences in mono gender schools.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases to make the flow of ideas smoother. For example, phrases like "in addition," "furthermore," and "on the contrary" can aid in better connecting your thoughts.
task achievement
The essay addresses both viewpoints on the topic and provides a clear personal opinion.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, and it includes an introduction and conclusion which wrap up the discussion appropriately.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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