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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that boys and girls should attend school together. Others feel that they should be educated separately. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #boys #girls #school
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Some believed that male and female
students
 should study in the same
schools
,
while
 others suggested they should learn in a single-gender environment. In
this
 essay, I will explain both sides of the view, and I personally support the idea that
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 should be separate based on gender differences. On one hand,
schools
 with both boys and girls
students
 may benefit from learning social
skills
. Apart from academic training, it is important for
students
 to gain knowledge on other subjects
such
 as communication
skills
, which are essential for living in modern society.
As a result
,
students
 may have more opportunities to interact with different genders and recognize which
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 are unacceptable to the opposite gender,
such
 as potential harassment speech. It is more suitable to educate
students
 on mental abilities
such
 as empathy.
For
this
 reason, children should attend mixed
schools
, as it helps them learn essential social
skills
.
On the other hand
,
students
 who study in single-gender
schools
 may have better academic performance. A statistic suggests that there are different
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 strengths in subjects between the two genders.
For example
, boys may be more interested in science and technology,
while
 girls may be more attracted to history and language.
Schools
 with single genders may allow them to focus resources on certain subjects that
students
 are more interested in. It can provide a better quality of education to
students
.
However
, To summarize,
although
 single-sex
schools
 may provide an advantage in better quality of education, I believe that co-education is much better for girls and boys as they will learn essential social
skills
 in school.
Submitted by andy1031227 on

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task achievement
Ensure that the essay directly addresses all parts of the prompt and remains balanced in discussing both views.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by clearly connecting each paragraph and ensuring that the ideas progress naturally.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and detailed evidence to support the main points more vividly and convincingly.
coherence cohesion
Avoid abrupt endings by ensuring a more comprehensive conclusion that neatly summarizes the arguments discussed.
task achievement
The introduction clearly sets up the topic and states the writer's opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a good structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The arguments are relevant and cover important aspects of both sides of the debate.
task achievement
The essay includes a clear stance and attempts to justify it.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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