Some people think it is more important to provide parks and sports facilities than to provide shopping centers in these new town for people to spend their free time. To what extent doo you agree or disagree?

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Investing in the development of parks and sports facilities is often considered to be more crucial than building shopping malls in new towns where people can enjoy their leisure time.

Although

Linking Words

, constructing picturesque

places

Use synonyms

for active time spending is the top priority for all the municipalities, providing shopping centres is

also

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should be taken into account. On the one hand, tidy and well-organised public

places

Use synonyms

can involve the dwellers in a healthy and sporty way of spending time. Parks and outdoor gyms give lots of opportunities for doing sports.

For example

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, many individuals love running or walking outdoors,

while

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others like training their muscles with the help of different facilities.

Thus

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, the level of fitness among the population will increase.

Moreover

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, a park is a great place for children, where they can go for a walk or play with their peers.

For instance

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, you can see a lot of youngsters in public locations who are keen on football or any other kind of sport or game.

Thus

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, kids will be happy to explore parks that are near their houses. That's why the government should place the funding of public

places

Use synonyms

in the first place.

On the other hand

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, providing organisations where individuals can purchase something is

also

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necessary.

Firstly

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, it may have a large contribution to the economy. To illustrate, by buying goods, the customers invest their money in the development of a city or town.

Thus

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, it is crucial to pay attention to the building of malls.

Secondly

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, shopping centres need employees. A lot of people apply for different jobs in

such

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places

Use synonyms

. As an example, hundreds of people can work as cashiers or shop assistants.

Consequently

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, it helps the government to fight unemployment.

To sum up

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, though it is crucial that the construction of public locations and sports facilities should be the most funded sector in all municipalities, providing shopping malls is important for the economy.

georgyzhelezovSat Jan 04 2025

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Coherence/Cohesion

Work on further organizing your points to enhance logical flow between paragraphs. Consider starting with stronger connectors to guide the reader through your argumentation more smoothly.

Task Achievement

Try to delve a bit deeper into your examples, ensuring they are distinctly relevant and used to fully elaborate on your main ideas.

Coherence/Cohesion

The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively and restates the writer’s position clearly.

Task Achievement

The essay provides a balanced discussion, acknowledging both sides of the argument, which contributes to fully addressing the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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Some people think it is more important to provide parks and sports facilities than to provide shopping centers in these new town for people to spend their free time. To what extent doo you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

In some countries, more and more adults continue to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?