In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move out of large cities and into regional areas. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?
The development of larger
industries
has been mainly in big cities because most of the resources could be found readily. For
this
reason, many governments believe that companies should be founded in urban areas, however
, many others argue that it is necessary to promote industries
to be established in rural areas. I believe that both sides have drawbacks and benefits. In this
essay, I explain in detail my reasons.
To start with, rural regions have stood out because of their farming production, nevertheless
, they have not received enough support from governors. For
this
reason, farmers have focused their primary activities on sowing their own goods and commercializing by themselves. Then
, If large companies moved out to the outskirts, hundreds of people would be able to develop their business. For instance
, in Colombia, there is a company called "Fedearroz '' that has encouraged people who cultivate rice to offer their products nationally and internationally as well as
overseas wholesale.
In contrast
, environmental contamination should be considered one of the main disadvantages that is
related to building big-scale factories in rural areas. Despite allowing the introduction of industries
into the farming yield and although
many people desire to enhance their business productivity by signing new governmental policies, the atmosphere could be damaged by increasing the greenhouse effect and CO2 emission production. For example
, in Brazil and Colombia, there is a long-distance rainforest called 'The Amazonas' that has been under provoked bushfires because big industries
such
McDonalds
and Nestle need the area to graze their cattle.
Change preposition
as McDonalds
To sum up
, merits and demerits should be evaluated by the government and big producers in order to not only boost the industrial and commercial development of main cities and the countryside,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
establish laws to preserve the environment.Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on
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Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance clarity, consider more careful paragraph structuring and more explicit connection of ideas. Providing clearer introductory sentences for each paragraph can guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
Task Achievement
To improve task response further, deepen your analysis of the advantages and disadvantages by exploring the implications more thoroughly. While your essay provides a balanced view, a more nuanced discussion could strengthen the argument.
Task Achievement
You provide a well-balanced discussion that considers both sides of the argument, which is a strong strategy for this type of essay.
Task Achievement
Your use of examples, such as the Fedearroz company in Colombia, significantly strengthens your argument by anchoring it in real-world situations.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay demonstrates a good logical flow, with relatively clear connections between ideas that aid in understanding the argument.