IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.--DELETED LINK--

The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.--DELETED LINK--
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The line graph illustrates the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number

It appears that the quantifier the quantity does not fit with the countable noun books. Consider changing the quantifier or the noun.

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 of
books
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 read by two genders at a specific library between 2011 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it can be observed that the men experienced
the
Correct article usage
an

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 upward trend,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the women saw the same experience, despite its decline in the
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 few years. From 2011 to 2013, both the females and the males gradually rose to 10000
books
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, seen in a slight 5000 and 3000 in 2011, and a significant 8000 and 4000 in 2012.
Last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 year, the number of
books
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 read is related inversely
in
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 the genders. The
books
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 that the men read increased by
quantity
Add an article
the quantity

The noun phrase quantity seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 of 4000, following the growth of a slight 3500
books
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 that the women used between 2013 and 2024z

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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