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Band 6.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices
These days, many
people
 claim that we have too many different
choices
 compared to the past. I agree with
this
 notion to some extent.
While
 in many parts of the world, particularly in developed
countries
, we have a plethora of
options
 to choose from, there are still many
countries
 where citizens have very limited
choices
 in many aspects of their lives. On the one hand, in many developed
countries
, there are numerous occupations available, allowing
people
 to choose jobs that satisfy their needs and ambitions.
Similarly
, when it comes to purchasing products, there is an overwhelming variety available, making it sometimes difficult to choose between different
options
.
For instance
, there are many restaurants offering cuisines from around the world and stores that carry garments from various brands.
Additionally
, many individuals have access to numerous facilities and amenities provided by their governments for recreation,
such
 as sports classes and other leisure activities.
On the other hand
, in many developing
countries
,
people
 often face significant limitations in their
choices
.
For example
, strict regulations may govern what clothes they can wear, often restricting personal freedom.
Additionally
, minorities in these
countries
 may have fewer rights compared to the majority, limiting their educational and occupational opportunities.
For instance
, individuals from minority religious backgrounds may not be able to choose the schools or universities they want to attend.
Similarly
, job
options
 can be extremely limited;
according to
 research, more than 80% of individuals in certain regions of southern Iran work in low-skilled jobs. In conclusion, I agree to some extent with the idea that
people
 in the contemporary world have too many
choices
.
However
, it is important to recognize that
this
 abundance of choice is not universally experienced and many
people
 still live with very limited
options
.
Submitted by amir1375.6 on

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task achievement
Great job presenting a balanced argument by examining both sides of the issue. However, try to expand a bit more on how limited choices in developing countries impact people's daily lives and overall well-being.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear and logical structure with well-organized paragraphs. Just ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next to maintain coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-done, framing the topic concisely and summarizing your stance effectively.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples, which strongly support your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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