Buying things on the internet, such asbooks, air ticket and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages?
In modern society, shopping online, not only for life
items
but also
for travel tickets and so on, is becoming more and more popular due to
its convenience and various choices. Though shopping online also
has some drawbacks; however
, the benefits definitely exceed the drawbacks.
Nowadays, it is obvious that shopping online has already becoming
the main trend. Not only people living in urban cities but Change the verb form
become
also
in rural areas can purchase items
online through various platforms. One of the significant reasons is that shopping online provides the convenience. People do not need to spend a lot of time going to a physical store when they demand something. They can using
their smartphones or computers to search and order online, Change the verb form
use
be using
then
wait at home to receive the goods. Additionally
, the price of online items
is always lower than that in a physical store. And
Correct word choice
Also
also
online shopping offers various choices compare
to traditional stores.
Wrong verb form
compared
While
online shopping provides lots of benefits, it still causes issues sometimes. Firstly
, Solely relying on online pictures cannot guarantee the quality of the items
, customers are unable to touch and inspect the items
that they intend to order. Furthermore
, merchants always use a significant amount of resources, such
as plastic and paper, to package and decorate the items
, ensuring both beauty and security during delivery.However
, this
process results in notable paper waste, and the use of plastics intensifies the
environmental pollution. Another potential issue is that purchasing online requires payment online, and some criminals may use fake trade information to deceive customers. A Correct article usage
apply
recently
crime rate survey indicates an Change the adverb
recent
increase
trend of online cheating Replace the word
increased
recent
years.
In conclusion, online shopping provides convenience and all kinds of choices for customers. Change preposition
in recent
Although
there are some drawbacks exist in
purchasing online, in general, it is obvious that the merits of shopping online Verb problem
to
are outweigh
the demerits.Change the verb form
outweigh
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task achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the task and addresses both sides of the argument. However, there were a few areas where ideas could be more comprehensively developed and examples could be more specific.
coherence cohesion
Ensure there is logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. There were minor errors in sentence construction that could be avoided for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Although the introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purpose well, they could be made more impactful and concise to leave a strong impression.
task achievement
The essay covers the topic effectively and presents a balanced view, examining both the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear organizational structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in understanding the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Main points are generally well-supported, and the author does a good job of addressing various aspects of online shopping.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example