Buying things on the internet, such asbooks, air ticket and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages?

#internet #asbooks #air #ticket #groceries

In modern society, shopping online, not only for life

items

but

also

for travel tickets and so on, is becoming more and more popular

due to

its convenience and various choices. Though shopping online

also

has some drawbacks;

however

, the benefits definitely exceed the drawbacks. Nowadays, it is obvious that shopping online has already

becoming

Change the verb form

become

show examples

the main trend. Not only people living in urban cities but

also

in rural areas can purchase

items

online through various platforms. One of the significant reasons is that shopping online provides the convenience. People do not need to spend a lot of time going to a physical store when they demand something. They can

using

Change the verb form

use

be using

show examples

their smartphones or computers to search and order online,

then

wait at home to receive the goods.

Additionally

, the price of online

items

is always lower than that in a physical store.

And

Correct word choice

Also

show examples

also

online shopping offers various choices

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to traditional stores.

While

online shopping provides lots of benefits, it still causes issues sometimes.

Firstly

, Solely relying on online pictures cannot guarantee the quality of the

items

, customers are unable to touch and inspect the

items

that they intend to order.

Furthermore

, merchants always use a significant amount of resources,

such

as plastic and paper, to package and decorate the

items

, ensuring both beauty and security during delivery.

However

this

process results in notable paper waste, and the use of plastics intensifies

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

environmental pollution. Another potential issue is that purchasing online requires payment online, and some criminals may use fake trade information to deceive customers. A

recently

Change the adverb

recent

show examples

crime rate survey indicates an

increase

Replace the word

increased

show examples

trend of online cheating

recent

Change preposition

in recent

show examples

years. In conclusion, online shopping provides convenience and all kinds of choices for customers.

Although

there are some drawbacks

exist in

Verb problem

show examples

purchasing online, in general, it is obvious that the merits of shopping online

are outweigh

Change the verb form

outweigh

show examples

the demerits.

Submitted by duzirong on Sun Jul 21 2024

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task achievement

The essay provides a clear response to the task and addresses both sides of the argument. However, there were a few areas where ideas could be more comprehensively developed and examples could be more specific.

coherence cohesion

Ensure there is logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. There were minor errors in sentence construction that could be avoided for better clarity.

coherence cohesion

Although the introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purpose well, they could be made more impactful and concise to leave a strong impression.

task achievement

The essay covers the topic effectively and presents a balanced view, examining both the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear organizational structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in understanding the flow of the essay.

task achievement

Main points are generally well-supported, and the author does a good job of addressing various aspects of online shopping.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

308 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Buying things on the internet, such asbooks, air ticket and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Most agree that we should be training children to recycle waste to preserve the Earth’s natural resources. However, some believe that it is parents who should teach their children to recycle waste while others feels schools are more responsible. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Example 6: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

If financially possible, is it always better for young people to leave home and be independent at the age of 18, do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.