It's generally believed that success in fields such as art and sport can only be achieved if a person has natural talent. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or artist. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Usually,
people
think that
success
in areas like
art
or sport can be
onlyby aperson
Correct your spelling
only to a person
who has natural
talent
. But some
people
also
think that every child can be an athlete or artist . In
this
essay, I will discuss both sides and give my own opinion.
People
argue that
success
in areas
such
as
art
and
sports
is largely dependent on a person's natural talents. They argue that some
people
have natural qualities that make them more likely to achieve high results. Examples include famous artists
such
as Pablo Picasso or athletes
such
as Usain Bolt, whose unique
abilities
and achievements are often attributed to their natural
talent
.
On the other hand
, there is the idea that anyone can achieve great
success
in an
art
or sport with preparation and education.
This
idea is supported by research demonstrating that practice and hard
work
play a key role in achieving mastery. Examples of
success
of
people
who achieved
success
through constant
work
support
this
view.
However
,in my opinion,
success
in areas
such
as
art
and
sports
depends on both natural
talent
and hard
work
.Natural
abilities
can give a person an initial advantage, but without hard
work
, these
abilities
may remain unrealized.
On the other hand
, even without natural
talent
, a person can achieve high results if he is ready to invest a lot of effort and time in developing his skills.For
illustration
Add a comma
illustration,
show examples
Leonardo Da Vinci had
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
talent
, but
also
he developed his skills and
abilities
, always experimenting and learning, his works are both a natural ability and hard
work
. Another example on
sports
Correct article usage
the sports
show examples
side it’s Michael Jordan
in addition
to his incredible physical attributes, he is
also
known for his incredible
work
and constant
work
on himself. His
success
is the result of a combination of natural
talent
and hard
work
. In conclusion, I want to say that in
this
way I believe that
success
in
art
and in
sports
is the result of a natural ability and hard
work
.
Submitted by sa_artek on

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coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure, but the flow between some sentences could be improved for greater clarity. Try to use more linking phrases to connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views and provides an opinion, but it could benefit from more specific examples and a deeper exploration of each point. Consider adding more details to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion that summarise the main points effectively.
task achievement
The essay presents comprehensive ideas and clearly states an opinion, effectively discussing both sides of the argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • natural talent
  • innate ability
  • genetic predisposition
  • nurture
  • nurturing
  • develop
  • cultivate
  • foster
  • encourage
  • inherit
  • unravel
  • reveal
  • demonstrate
  • evidence
  • proof
  • counterargument
  • counter
  • overcome
  • compensate
  • arguably
  • debate
  • controversial
  • persuasive
  • convincing
  • conclusive
  • critical
  • essential
  • crucial
  • vital
  • significant
  • prominent
  • noteworthy
  • imperative
  • compulsory
  • fundamental
  • compelling
  • persuasive
  • support
  • favor
  • oppose
  • disagree
  • acknowledge
  • consider
  • claim
  • view
  • belief
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