IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Five months ago you started renting an apartment on a six month agreement. you wish to stay in the apartment for longer than 6 months, you originally agreed with the owner. Write a letter to the owner of the apartment. In your letter: How long do you want to rent the apartment for Explain why your plans have changed Tell the owner about a problem in the apartment

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Dear Mr. Wells,
This
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 letter is to put forward my
request
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 for extending the rental agreement of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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apartment, 702, Asha Harmony, Ghansoli Road, Mumbai beyond 6 months. A
12-months
Correct your spelling
12-month
 extension on the current agreement is my
request
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. The original 6-month agreement is expiring on 30 September 2024, I wish to continue here till 30 September 2025. I was under the assumption that my company would accept my relocation
request
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 to Bengaluru, India and I will be moving there by 1 October 2024.
However
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, it seems that the organization has decided not to consider my
request
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due to
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 certain dependencies I have in the project here.
As a result
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, I will be staying in Mumbai for another year. Having stayed in the apartment for
sometime
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some time
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 now, I believe it is in my best interest that I extend my accommodation here for another year. But, there are
couple
Add an article
a couple
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 of issues with the apartment that I would like to bring your kind attention to before the document signature happens. The flat is subjected to frequent power cuts
especially
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, especially
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 during the summer months from May till June.
This
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 has caused me great discomfort especially in the
last
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 2 months because of the
hybrid-mode
Correct your spelling
hybrid mode
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 of work I operated in. Without electricity, my internet access was compromised and it affected my assignments. Awaiting your earnest reply on
this
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. Kind regards, Nilesh Majumdar

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complete response
Your letter clearly states the intention to extend the rental agreement and the duration for which you wish to extend it. However, more specific details such as asking for the owner's consent or inquiring about the process to extend the lease would improve clarity.
logical structure
You could improve the logical flow by addressing the issues with the apartment earlier in your letter and then moving on to the request for an extension, making sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
greeting and closing
The letter starts and ends with proper greetings and a cordial closing, which maintains a polite and formal tone suitable for corresponding with a landlord.
single idea per paragraph
Each paragraph is focused on a specific aspect: the request for extension, the reason for the change in plans, and the problem with the apartment, which helps in maintaining clarity and coherence.
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