In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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There is no doubt that
people
’s health is getting better than ever before. Many
people
agree that old
people
are a burden for the government,
while
others believe that there are advantages if society has more older adults. I completely agree WITH THE LATTER FOR SOME REASONS MENTIONED IN
THIS
ESSAY. One of the main advantages of having more older adults is the wide range of experience and knowledge. Older
people
often have a lot of life experience, knowledge and social skills.
HENCE
, THEY MIGHT act as mentors TO provide and share valuable guidance to younger generations.
Moreover
, an ageing population can lead to increased demand for healthcare services, creating more chances for jobs in the healthcare sector.
In addition
, some older citizens can continue to work beyond THEIR retirement age, so they can contribute to the economy of their family and country.
For instance
, in Japan, retirees STILL WORK in different departments THAT HELP TO SOLVE some labour shortage problems.
As a result
, Japan has the best economy in the world. Another reason is that the elderly community can take care of children when their parents go to work, thanks to which families save money WHEN NOT sending their children to childcare centres.
Additionally
, older adults can engage in some volunteer activities to bring some benefits
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
communities and non-profit organizations,
then
strengthen social cohesion and support systems.
Furthermore
, elderly
people
can give important advice from their real-life experiences and prevent their children from making wrong decisions.
For example
, the father of the richest man in the world Elon Musk advised him to return after completing his studies and start his business in America.
As a result
, his company became one of the largest companies in the world.
To sum up
,
ALTHOUGH
IT IS BELIEVED THAT ageing citizens PUT A STRAIN ON
GOVERNMENT’S
Correct article usage
THE GOVERNMENT’S
show examples
BUDGET, I AM STILL CONVINCED THAT THEY BRING GREAT BENEFITS TO SOCIETY.
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task response
To improve task response, ensure all points made directly address the essay prompt and are consistently well-developed. Avoid making broad claims without sufficient explanation or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by ensuring smooth transitions between main points and paragraphs. Each idea should flow logically to the next, avoiding abrupt shifts.
task response
The essay clearly presents the opposing viewpoints and supports the chosen perspective effectively.
task response
Using examples such as Japan and Elon Musk adds clarity and relevance to the arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow is maintained throughout the essay, with paragraphs clearly supporting the main argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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