Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

The high cost of modern pharmaceuticals means
people
in poorer
countries
are unable to benefit from them. I would argue that drug
companies
have a moral obligation to make their products available to these
people
and that there are other agencies that can help. Over the
last
few
decades
Add a comma
decades,
show examples
there has been a dramatic improvement in medicine that has radically changed the treatment of many
life threatening
Add a hyphen
life-threatening
show examples
diseases.
While
drug
companies
profit from treating these diseases, the fact that
people
in poor
countries
are unable to pay for these treatments has created an unacceptable degree of inequality in global access to health care. I would argue that drug
companies
have a responsibility to be more ethical and to address
this
inequality by offering cheaper generic versions of their medicines in
countries
that cannot afford to pay the full price.
This
has recently been implemented with the treatment of HIV and AIDS in some African
countries
, saving the lives of millions of
people
.
However
, I
also
believe that there are others who have a role to play in giving poor
people
access to drugs.
For example
, rich
people
could be encouraged to donate to charities to help developing
countries
. An example of
this
was seen recently when Bill Gates spent vast sums of money to set up immunisation projects in Africa.
In addition
to wealthy individuals, governments could
also
donate aid and medical supplies. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
I would argue that it is immoral for
people
to be dying
as a result
of inequality. The value of human life should be universal and it should be the responsibility of the richer
companies
, individuals and governments to ensure that access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
encompasses everyone.
Submitted by drcamt on

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task achievement
You have effectively addressed all parts of the task, presenting a clear position throughout the essay. To enhance your task achievement to the highest band, further details and more diverse examples could be added.
coherence and cohesion
Although your essay is well-organized and logically structured, using more varied linking devices and transition words could enhance coherence and cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow and understand.
task achievement
You provide strong arguments supported by relevant examples, which adds depth to your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance and reinforces your main points, leaving a lasting impression.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pharmaceuticals
  • Generic drugs
  • Patent laws
  • Healthcare disparity
  • Subsidies
  • Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs)
  • Intellectual property
  • Epidemiology
  • Affordability
  • Global health initiatives
  • Corporate social responsibility
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