IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Your work for an international company. You have seen an advertisement for a training course which will be useful for your job. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter •Describe the training course you want to do. •Explain what the company could do to help you. •Say how the course will be useful for your job.

#work #company #advertisement #course #job #manager #•describe #•explain #•say
Dear Sir or Madam, I have come to know through an advertisement that you are going to start a training session about telemedicine. I have been working for years as a medical
rab
Correct your spelling
lab
 in a multinational pharmaceutical company. I wish to attend the training session because I like the topic and looking for a long time to attend and explore the field of telemedicine because there is not enough information available related to
this
 area and it is
also
 connected with my job and beneficial to performing my duties more efficiently.
Furthermore
, my company will facilitate me to attend the course and agreed to accept my request for leave for the duration which I required to complete the training sessions. Please accept my humble submission and allow me to join so that, I could be able to expand my knowledge in my concern field. I shall be
gratful
Correct your spelling
grateful
 for your kindness.
Yourse
Correct your spelling
Yours
 Faithfully, Kunwar
Submitted by computersinn2007 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific details about the training course, such as its content, duration, and how it directly applies to your current role, to strengthen the task achievement.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try using a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
You successfully conveyed your interest in the training course and its relevance to your job.
coherence cohesion
Your letter has a clear structure with a suitable opening and closing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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