IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Millions ofpeople every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language?

#millions #ofpeople #year #move #countries #australia #britain #america #study #school #college #university #people #english #language
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Education is an
imoprtant
Correct your spelling
important
 subject for the parents. The choice of
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 excellent school, college or
university
Use synonyms
 is difficult.
Then
Linking Words
, Millions of people every year move to
English
Use synonyms
-speaking
countries
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or
university
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.
It
Correct pronoun usage
There
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 exist some reasons for
this
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 choice.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
English
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-speaking
countries
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are classify
Change the verb form
are classified
show examples
 as developing
countries
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. Indeed, in these
countries
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Correct pronoun usage
there exist
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exist
Correct subject-verb agreement
exists
show examples
high
Add an article
a high
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 level of
technology
Replace the word
technological
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 development and
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
. People
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 to live and to stay
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 these
countries
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.
For realising
Change preposition
To realise
show examples
this
Linking Words
 goal, it is necessary to learn
Use synonyms
English
Change the article
the English
show examples
language
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.
English
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 is a maternal and local
language
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 in these
countries
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the major courses in the world
wrote
Wrong verb form
are written
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
English
Change the article
the English
show examples
language
Use synonyms
.
Such
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medical
Change preposition
as medical
show examples
 studies, technological courses and management theory. The authors of books of these
specialties
Change the spelling
specialities
show examples
 were from
English
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-speaking
countries
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such
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Philips
Change preposition
as Philips
show examples
kotler
Change the capitalization
Kotler
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, the author of management books.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in these
English
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-speaking
countries
Use synonyms
, the opportunity to find a job is higher than
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
countries
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. For
this
Linking Words
, the parents choose to make their children learn in these
countries
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 to increase the possibility of
acceptation
Replace the word
acceptance
show examples
 at the job in these
countries
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the education system in these
English
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-speaking
countries
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 is highly efficient. The
university
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 in these
countries
Use synonyms
 is classified
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the top by
Correct article usage
the united
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united
Capitalize word
United
show examples
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
Nations
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 education organism.
Finally
Linking Words
,
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English
Change the article
the English
show examples
language
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represent
Change the verb form
represents
show examples
 an important international
language
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 because it is a simple and adequate
language
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 for speaking. In fact, other
countries
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such
Linking Words
China
Change preposition
as China
show examples
 ,
Japan
Correct word choice
and Japan
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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also
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing
countries
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 but
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 and
speak
Wrong verb form
speaking
show examples
 their maternal and local
language
Use synonyms
 is difficult. It is not easy and
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 much time. In sum,
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 in
English
Use synonyms
language
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 or
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 in school, college or
university
Use synonyms
 in
English
Use synonyms
-speaking
countries
Use synonyms
 is an important decision for the choice of
future
Correct article usage
a future
show examples
 job.
Submitted by rabebhamdi on

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task achievement
Try to include more detailed and specific examples to support your points. For example, mention specific universities or programs that attract international students.
task achievement
Work on improving grammatical accuracy, including subject-verb agreement and word choice. Pay attention to minor spelling errors as well.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea and that you use clear topic sentences. This will improve the logical structure and clarity of your essay.
task achievement
The essay covers a broad range of reasons why people choose to study in English-speaking countries. This shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear start and end to your argument.
task achievement
The essay makes a valid point about the importance of English in international contexts and the opportunities available in English-speaking countries.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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