The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

#information #numbers #participants #activities #centre #melbourne #australia #period

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The line graph displays information on the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of people

participated

Correct pronoun usage

who participated

show examples

for

Change preposition

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different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the

years

Use synonyms

2000 to 2020. From an

overall

Linking Words

perspective, it is evident that

Film

Correct article usage

the Film

show examples

club had the highest number of

participants

Use synonyms

over the entire time period. Musical performances and Table tennis increased significantly,

while

Linking Words

Amateur dramatics decreased sharply. In 2000,

Film

Correct article usage

the Film

show examples

club was the highest activity with

the

Correct article usage

show examples

number of

participants

Use synonyms

of just under 65 and it fluctuated between nearly 65 and 60 in the next 20

years

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. Amateur dramatics had just above 25

participants

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and it increased gradually to approximately 30 before it sharply decreased to nearly 5 in 2020. Martial arts hovered between just under 40 and around 30 from 2000 to 2020. Musical performances had no

participants

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for the first 5

years

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however

Linking Words

, it increased dramatically to just below 20 in 2020. Table tennis had the lowest number of nearly 16 and it slightly increased to 20 in 2005 and remained stable for the next 5

years

Use synonyms

before it significantly increased to just above 50 and became the second highest activity in 2020.

Submitted by dr.omar-2010 on Sun Jul 21 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, participants with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

188 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

participants
social centre
comparison
trends
consistently popular
gained popularity
lost popularity
community interest
availability of facilities
social factors
economic factors
external events
economic downturns
health crises
demographic changes
aging population
marketing
community outreach programs
participation rates
Melbourne

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The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities ,so the population in the country side is decreasing Do you think it is a positive or a negative development

The number of plants and animals is declining. Describe the reason and suggest some solution.

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.