‘Some people think children should have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes.’ Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Firstly
, we have two sides the first one being to let children
have complete freedom
and the other opinon
believes that adults should prevent Correct your spelling
opinion
children
from making mistakes
. I would like to start with the first side
which is the " complete freedom
" side
I really do get what this
side
is trying to show us as adults how to rise
our Correct your spelling
raise
children
by letting them be on there
own and make them ready for adulthood by giving Correct your spelling
their
there
Replace the word
their
child
the freedom
of making mistakes
, and I do believe that is
kind of true but also
standing by this
side
100 % would not be the best choice do to the fact that if you give your children
complete freedom
to make mistakes
you as an adult
can't gusse
what kind of mistake the Correct your spelling
guess
child
would be making maybe as simple as spelling water or as big as being stealing. Thats
the end of the first Correct your spelling
That
side
as I call it the freedom
side
. Secondly
the Add a comma
Secondly,
side
that believe
that adults should prevent Change the verb form
believes
children
from making mistakes
, this
side
is sadly unrealistic I really can't see myself or any actual adult
agreeing to this
side
because how do you as an adult
want your child
to learn without making mistakes
that is
not logical , not even healthy to the child
itself he would grow up thinking making mistakes
is not normal and strange when it's totally wrong .lastly
,
if you as an Remove the comma
apply
adult
want to do the freedom
side
of the always preventing side
you are totally free to do want you personally like just choose the best for your child
.Submitted by alaanoudaltammaami on
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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by using clear paragraph breaks. This helps in organizing ideas more effectively, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss. This will help in framing your essay and guiding the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Develop a stronger conclusion that clearly summarizes the discussed points and provides a final opinion. This will leave a lasting impression and provide closure to your essay.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This not only strengthens your points but also demonstrates your understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Clarify your points by ensuring that each argument is thoroughly explained and logically connected to the next. This will make your essay more comprehensive and easier to understand.
task achievement
The essay presents both sides of the argument, showcasing an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your personal opinion is clearly stated, which adds a personal touch to the discussion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite