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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #products #world #development
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Countries
 are becoming more similar to each other because
people
 can buy the same
products
 in any country. In
this
 essay, I will discuss my own opinion of why I think it's more positive than negative.
Firstly
 improved quality of life
people
 have access to good quality
products
 , goods , and services which can improve the state of life ,
for example
 , modern technologies
such
 as smartphones and laptops have become accessible almost anywhere in the world and it's improved education, communication and business opportunities. The second positive side development of the global economy international trade and the availability of global brands stimulate economic growth and create jobs, in many
countries
, unemployment will disappear and there will be fewer poor
people
 and everyone will have a job .
Last
 but not least, cultural exchange
products
 from different
countries
 promote cultural exchange and mutual understanding between
people
.
On the other hand
also
 a negative side like economic problems , for illustration now nations like China have many
products
 and other
countries
 buy from them,
thus
 their economic growth increases. If every country can do these
products
 ,
then
 everyone would have a low economy. In conclusion, I think
this
 phenomenon has both positive and negative aspects. Its impact depends on the specific context and approaches to its management.
Submitted by sa_artek on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear stance on the topic, but consider addressing both positive and negative aspects more thoroughly and in separate paragraphs to fully achieve the task response requirement.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are lengthy and could be broken down into shorter ones for better clarity. Use transition words to connect ideas smoothly and improve the logical flow.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. This will help to substantiate your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and smoothly transitions to the next. This will improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
introduction conclusion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of global product availability, showing balanced thinking.
supported main points
Your main points are relevant to the topic and reflect a good understanding of the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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