IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Countries
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 are becoming more similar to each other because
people
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 can buy the same
products
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 in any country. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss my own opinion of why I think it's more positive than negative.
Firstly
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 improved quality of life
people
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 have access to good quality
products
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 , goods , and services which can improve the state of life ,
for example
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 , modern technologies
such
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 as smartphones and laptops have become accessible almost anywhere in the world and it's improved education, communication and business opportunities. The second positive side development of the global economy international trade and the availability of global brands stimulate economic growth and create jobs, in many
countries
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, unemployment will disappear and there will be fewer poor
people
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 and everyone will have a job .
Last
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 but not least, cultural exchange
products
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 from different
countries
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 promote cultural exchange and mutual understanding between
people
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.
On the other hand
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also
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 a negative side like economic problems , for illustration now nations like China have many
products
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 and other
countries
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 buy from them,
thus
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 their economic growth increases. If every country can do these
products
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 ,
then
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 everyone would have a low economy. In conclusion, I think
this
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 phenomenon has both positive and negative aspects. Its impact depends on the specific context and approaches to its management.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear stance on the topic, but consider addressing both positive and negative aspects more thoroughly and in separate paragraphs to fully achieve the task response requirement.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are lengthy and could be broken down into shorter ones for better clarity. Use transition words to connect ideas smoothly and improve the logical flow.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. This will help to substantiate your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and smoothly transitions to the next. This will improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
introduction conclusion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of global product availability, showing balanced thinking.
supported main points
Your main points are relevant to the topic and reflect a good understanding of the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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